Sassarella Says...: January 2013

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Sign of the Whale's Bathroom

There's something fabulous yet very strange about living in the same city in which you went to college. I frequent many of the same hang-outs but I experience them so differently today than I did ~~last year~~ two years ago, or even three...four..five...yikes...five and a half, almost six years ago as a freshman.

Just a week or so ago I was at Sign of the Whale (a bar) to celebrate a friend's 26th birthday. I went to the bathroom by myself...which let's start there, when did you ever go to the bathroom, ladies, by yourself in college? Never. It happened in this instance partly because these days I'm normally largely outnumbered by men in group outings but I didn't even think to ask any of the other girls there. This might sound like I'm digressing but please refer to the title of this post before you judge.

Anyway, it was a slow Wednesday night so I had the bathroom to myself. I did my biz and while washing my hands and looking at myself in the mirror, I suddenly started to crack up in laughter. For whatever reason this one time in all the times that I've used that bathroom in the last year and a half, my brain instantly flashed to the outrageous amount of memories I have in and around that space.

While out at a bar, all of the action supposedly happens out on the dance floor or standing at the bar but for women, especially young women, a lot goes down in the bathroom too. For starters, we often discuss the action occurring at the bar or on the dance floor, one person peeing while the other one was holding the door closed. My brain flashed to the beyond numerous times that Meghan and I chatted in the bathroom about the dumb dudes hitting on us that Oscar then shamelessly tortured and reminded us of all night. Or the time Lauren visited and the bathroom was more of an escape route from the absurdity that is "The Whale," just needed a little break if you will. And then I thought about the night Allie won the Snooki hair contest and she, Maggie, and I cracked up in the bathroom because we shared a piece of gum. Or the time I went pee with my mom and sister on graduation weekend after we all did zingers. Insanity. I could picture everything from the outfits we wore, the shoes I was in, the clutch I used, the jewelry, the hair, the make-up, the complete college look. We always got dressed up. I could see the exchanging of t.p. from under one stall to another, and hear the crazy conversations, the exchanges with the bathroom attendant, and above all, I could remember the laughter.

Me: "It's called G.T.L. Night"

Mags: "What is that? Should I know what that means?

I'm just along for the ride, people."

In another how many years from now I'll think about the times I've had in that bathroom more recently and feel the same nostalgia. The most vivid memories now-a-days are sharing happy tears with Brittany over Lena Dunham winning the Emmy, discussing the latest Sunday Funday drama, or even making out with someone in there so no one else would see......yup, that happened. Anyway, the whole experience that Wednesday night was hysterical and completely ridiculous but made me think and whatever makes me think deserves a post.

Sassarella Says...every now and then, I miss college.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

"To all the ladies in the place with style & grace." - Notorious B.I.G.

I figured it out! I figured out what it is that I'm lacking in DC that I had almost total fulfillment of in New Jersey, especially living so close to New York City. No, no it's not proximity to all of my immediate family members, talking and hanging out with my oldest and dearest friends weekly, my dog, or my car...nothing like any of those silly things...I'm lacking GLAMOUR. Washington, DC while it is uber important and very cool, there is very little about it that screams, "Living large in the big city!" Sure, the Prez and Michelle are glamorous in their own way, the White House, and the monuments are impressive but they are hardly sexy. This city is full of intelligent, politically-minded, and sometimes pretentious folks who think that having style means rocking flamingo pants at Smith Point. Actually, to be really honest, I don't think most people in this city actually think about style at all.

New York City, while it is many things, some might call it dirty, too big, even weird in certain neighborhoods...there is no doubting its incredible energy. Since I've never lived there, I can't say that I would really be able to handle it all the time, I don't know, but what I can guess is that I would feel more at home in the fashion district there than I do on H Street here. Whenever I get dressed to go to work or go out, I consider what neighborhood I'm going to and dress accordingly. If I'm going to a more hipster part of town, I'll wear black skinny jeans and tougher boots for walking around, definitely more casual than I would normally dress. If I'm going out in midtown I can dress it up a bit but I know no one else around me will be dressed up so I have to tone down the usual sass. Whereas in New Jersey or New York, I could wear black all the time and not worry about it. The LBD worked even for a Thursday night out but in DC you would look like a fool on a Thursday night. Going to clubs in Hoboken was expected and looked forward to: who's booking the limo, who's getting the bottles of Goose, and who's in charge of champagne? In DC, "Ohh, you like going to clubs? One of those types huh?" See where I'm going here? Like for my birthday, the possibility of going to a club was out there, bottle service, the works, but I didn't push for it because I didn't want my friends to be all like, "what the h-bomb are we doing here?" (Even though we did end up at a club, I LOVED IT, and so did they!)

Anyway, I feel like I'm trying to find my style in DC even though I was pretty happy with the one I was rocking further north and throughout college. Sure our style changes as we grow up but I should just get dressed in clothes that I like, not because I'm going to be surrounded by hipsters.

Back to my birthday, it really hit me last week when I ordered a pink Herve Leger dress from RentTheRunway.com. I ordered it knowing that I would be incredibly more dressed up than anyone else I would be with and way overdressed for any restaurant or bar we would go to celebrate. However, it was MY freakin' birthday and I could dress however I wanted to. Although, I couldn't help but reminisce on times when this was the norm. Going out used to be an event with hair, make-up, little skirts and tanks but now it is routine and boring (in terms of my style, of course, not the actual act of going out or who I'm going with). I also thought about the new heels I ordered, which I love, but know that I won't be able to wear them on just any old weekend night if I expect to keep up with anyone walking around DC. When I decide to dress as my old dressy self, I end up regretting it because we'll sit at a chill dive bar or I spend the night in pain trying to keep up with everyone walking all over town. So I don't do it. I'm lazy. It's to the point that I don't even blow dry my hair half the time. Oh sure, just let it air dry, who cares!

So these days I get excited talking to HilHoro Babes about Miami or Dallas with Tanya because these cities seem so G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S to me! As much of a party animal as I am, I know the constant clubbing in Miami would make me stressed and being an actual plane ride away from my friends and family in Dallas would make me nuts so my solution to this problem is not to move to New York City, Miami, or Dallas but I need to visit them more often. I want to make this the year of, "JUST BOOK IT AND GO." Years from now I won't remember the few weeks or months after each trip where money was a bit tighter than usual. I will remember the kick ass time I had with mah ladies, dressed up in stilettos and bandage dresses having a fabulous time.

I see those types on facebook. I'm sure you have friends like that too who seem like they're traveling constantly and I think, "how do they do it?" Well, it's very simple. They go online and book it!

Sassarella Says...if I'm staying in DC for awhile, I need to get my glamour elsewhere. I need to take more trips with glamorous people to sexy cities knowing that I will always come back "home" to comfy and casual DC.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Busy is the new happy.

"You have to find a way to carve yourself back into your own life," my mom said after I re-hashed a little spat my boyfriend and I had a few hours before about how we were going to spend a Saturday afternoon. Eff. We're really here again? I'm finding myself again?! Aren't I found yet? I guess not because we realized that I seem to be a little lost in the chaos of my 20-something mind, the uneasiness of a first job, and the ecstasy of a big and powerful love.

As I lied there on the floor of my studio, looking around at the clutter and the madness that often is my place, I knew what I had to do. I cleaned, I re-organized, I purged, and de-cluttered my ~~living space~~ part-time living space. I thought about what else I could de-clutter; my schedule is erratic, my sleeping patterns are effed up, and my life lacks lists.

Years ago I couldn't get through a day without a list. Correction: I couldn't get through a day without the list for the day that also correlated with the list for the week....which also correlated with the list for the month. Excessive? A bit. However, I felt no greater pride and joy than when I violently scratched an item off the list and eventually had enough items scratched off to throw the list out and start over again.

So, I must write more lists. I carry a notebook around with me, my bible, that used to be strictly for lists and creative purposes. Now that notebook is full of work BS....numbers, merchants, customers, revenue tabs, emails to write, calls to make, boring stuff. That being said, I need to write more in general. I almost hate to admit it because it's so g.d. typical but I recently watched the first season of Lena Dunham's HBO series, Girls, from start to finish and of course, I loved it. I swayed back and forth between adoration and envy with every sentence that came out of her writing, producing, and acting mouth. At least twice a week I think about how badly I want to take a two week vacation all by myself to write. I think about how much of a first draft of a novel or a pilot episode I could get down on paper with two weeks of nothing else to worry about. But then oh yeah, reality sets in and rent has to be paid, food needs to be in my belly, and the Internet in my apartment needs to be on so the vaycay will have to wait. I digress.

"I'm like the least virginy virgin ever." - Shoshanna

Now in this carving that I'll be doing, I need to be careful not to rock the boat in my big and powerful love life. I need to recognize that we are stable, as stable as a relationship can be since we're all examples of how these things are ever-changing and growing. I need to think back to the person I was when he first met me because there are aspects of her personality and tendencies that I want to be again. I want to make more lists, I want to write creatively, and I want to be an organized and busy neat freak like I used to be.

In the beginning of a relationship, it's positively thrilling that someone is happy to literally do nothing with you all day long. It's acceptable to lie in bed, cuddle, go eat, and watch television even though your single self would've most likely been doing something productive in those hours. Then one day you wake up and you realize, "Hey, this relationship thing is pretty solid and this is awesome but if that's the case, I can't do nothing for the rest of my life." What kind of life would we have together if we just lied in bed all day? In theory, it sounds lovely and on occasion it's just what the doctor ordered but what I know to be true is that my relationship will always be happier and healthier when I'm fulfilled on my own as well.

Despite it all, I wouldn't have it any other way than this ^

Sassarella Says...To be truly content (and to be truly complete in my relationship, especially one that's going to last a long ass time), I need to make lists, cross things off the lists, keep my place clean and organized, write a blog post once a week, go to yoga, and have time to be in my head. I need to wander around on my own, run errands, listen to music, and carve the individual out of the mosh pit that is a relationship. But what's really great is that the other half of this mosh pit will be there with me the whole time.