DJ CFabb: Cleaning Shmeaning

5:10pm - Gather clothes scattered around the room that need to be washed and put them into the basket.

5:14pm - Enter the elevator to head to the basement laundry room, all the while thinking, "It's 5:15 on a gorgeous Thursday night so I'm sure no one will be doing laundry."

5:15pm - Walk towards the laundry room and see that the automatic light (that only goes on when someone is in the room) is on and think, "Shit."

5:16pm - See 4 maids folding dry laundry and see that all of the machine lids are down, which usually always means they are running.

5:17pm - Notice that two of the machines are not running but that the person has not come down to move her stuff into the dryers.

5:17pm - Contemplate taking whoever's stuff it is out of the washer and put it on top of another one so I can use it, I mean who knows how long it's been sitting there!

5:18pm - Decide to wait for the maids to leave. It's always better to violate someone's privacy without an audience.

5:20pm - Maids exit.

5:20pm - Enter laundry room. Open and close the lids on the two washers that contain stuff I need to move. Open and close them again, still contemplating what I would say should this person walk in and catch me moving her stuff, "I'm sorry I know this is so rude but I need these clothes for work tonight!" Total lie but whatever.

5:21pm - Doing it. Move her stuff to the top of another washer. Put my stuff in the washers very quickly and get my bag for my laundry card.

5:22pm - "You a$shole. After all of this, YOU FORGOT YOUR CARD UPSTAIRS?!?!" I thought to myself. THE WORST.

5:23pm - Head towards the elevators, very pissed off. As I approach the door, people exit the elevator. I notice they seem to be doing laundry and am now certain that it is the girl whose stuff I moved. I attempt to turn my body and fold up my basket, hoping she won't notice that I'm doing laundry because she will then see her stuff and know that I moved it. Yikes.

5:25pm - Decide to wait at least 10 mins before going back downstairs to start my machine. I do not want to run into her.

5:40pm - Go back downstairs to start my washers.

5:43pm - Start machine 1. Attempt to start machine 2...."LOW FUNDS," it tells me.

5:45pm - Even more pissed off, head back upstairs for cash.

5:47pm - Add money to my card and start machine 2.

There is nothing I hate more than having to trek back and forth to the laundry room, especially when I have to make extra trips because I forgot my card or do not realize the card is out of money! Later in the laundry excursion, I made sure to put two articles of clothing in two different dryers in order to save them because someone else was doing laundry on the same schedule that I was. It's just ridiculous....a building with 8 floors should have more than 6 washers and dryers!

Anyway, in between trips to the laundry room I decided to really clean my apartment. Usually when I "clean up my apartment" what I really mean is that I'm tidying up because I just pick up the clothes off the floor, re-organize the bathroom, and maybe dust a bit here and there. However, since I bought a Swifter Wet Jet (that is absolutely addicting) and actual cleaning supplies for the bathroom, I was anxious to use them. I cleaned the bathroom better than I have since I've lived here and at first it was satisfying but I was quickly over it. Not to mention the fact that I have a boy here half the time which leaves an apartment with different dirtinesses than I'm used to having (no offense, babeeee). Give me spray tan stains, I can handle it but boy stuff was just like, "wtf, I ain't in Kansas no mo'." By the time I got mid-way through cleaning the shower I started to think about how many more years I have of cleaning a bathroom and I didn't like that much at all, "Yeahhhh so I'll eventually pay someone to do this sh!t for me, fingers crossed."

I was pissed off at the laundry debacle and coughing from the fumes in the cleaning products but hey, at least I made a good playlist....

"Part of Me" - Katy Perry (Raffael De Luca & Joel Jungell bootleg)

"Can't Stop Prutataaa" - Afrojack & Dada Life ft. Alesso

"B#tch City" - R3hab vs. 3LAU

"Lost in the World" (Tiesto Remix) - Kanye West

"Donald Trump" (dubstep remix) - Neon Hitch

"Party Shot" - Major Lazor, Popcaan

"Domino in My Mind" - Ivan Gough, Feenixpawl, Axwell, Jessie J

"Call Me Greyhound" - Swedish House Mafia & Carly Ray Jepsen

"Sing My Ass Back Home" - Thomas Gold ft. Neon Hitch, Steve Aoki

"Spaceman I Used to Know" - Hardwell ft. Gotye, Adele, Lady Gaga

"Danza Kuduro" (REMIX) - Don Omar ft. Akon

"Bon, Bon" - Pitbull

"Rebels in the Light" - Manicanparty

Sassarella Says....where's Mr. Clean when ya need him?

Less Monumental Happenings

There are milestones in relationships that help us gauge what level of the relationship you are at with the other person. I just experienced a milestone; he gave me a drawer of his dresser. He was so matter-of-fact about it too, "Hey I made space in this drawer here...(pause, because I did not immediately react)...as in, you can put things in it."

"You're giving me a drawerrrrrr," I exclaimed slash whined in a girly high-pitched voice meaning to convey, "ain't you the sweetest!" It hadn't even occurred to me to ask for space to put things. Awhile back I brought a toiletry bag and a towel over to leave there but now I have a whole drawer? I've never been given a drawer before but what's funny is that the exclamation slash whine in a girly high-pitched voice was more for show than anything else. What I mean by that is, offering up space in your dresser or closet to your significant other, we are told, is a way of showing your commitment and is meant to really mean something but I didn't need a drawer to know that about him. He shows his commitment to me and his love for me in such better ways than a drawer. I love the drawer, don't get me wrong, and I love that I didn't have to ask for it and that he was the one to think of it but it felt a little matter-of-fact for me too.

Of course it got me thinking about other milestones like meeting the parents, giving the other person a key to your place, moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having children, etc. I also started to think about less monumental milestones (maybe we should call them happenings), for instance, the first time you get invited to a party as a couple, the first time you go away together, the first time you know what he'll want to order at a restaurant and you order it, the first time you go out with a couple who is together a shorter amount of time than you are, you get the point. These are all instances when you are fully aware of the fact that you are in a relationship. For someone who hasn't been in a relationship in years, these are happenings that I am very aware of and enjoy. However what I love about this relationship is that they seem secondary to the big picture. They seem like the drawer, very matter-of-fact in that we've got one big milestone down already (we've both met the parents) and I, holy sh!t balls, see potential in other big milestones. We've both hinted at this but never actually say anything as a definite, for obvious reasons, but seeing potential of other big milestones makes the less monumental happenings very matter-of-fact.

I can remember being with guys who if they had given me a drawer, it would have been the biggest and most important day in the relationship thus far because I would finally know that he feels a commitment. I've always had to fight for confirmation from past sig-o's about how they feel about me and where they see things going but not now. The less monumental happenings in my current situation are wonderful but I have a duhh feeling towards them. Duh, we have stuff in drawers at each other's places. Duh, we'll be at your party on Sunday. Duh, he'll have a Miller Lite, a shot of Jameson, and if that has shrimp in it, he'll have it!

So what I'm concluding from all of this is that being offered a drawer in your boyfriend's dresser should be sweet, thoughtful, and meaningful but not monumental. I understand that not everyone has a way with words and can convey a message clearly so maybe offering a drawer at that time is monumental but at some point there's gotta be more. There has to be that direct verbal communication of feelings, "I love you, you mean the world to me, and I'm not going anywhere." To me, that's the only way you get to those real milestones. When I'm 80 years old I'm going to remember the day he (whoever he is) met my parents, our first apartment, and the day we got engaged as opposed to the first time I knew he would want the shrimp cocktail or perhaps even the day he gave me a drawer in his dresser.

Sassarella Says...as meaningful as it is that I have my own drawer in his space, I know that if I wanted to bring 3 drawers full of things, every hair product, stick of make-up, and shoe I own over to his place that he would have it. Giving me a drawer was more about him wanting me to be comfortable so that I will be over as often as humanly possible. And he knows as well as I do that it was not about either of us needing to confirm our commitment and love for each other because we do that in more milestone-style of ways.

I'm A Little Weird Without You Here.

There is a Swedish proverb that reads, "love me when I least deserve it because that is when I need it the most." I sometimes reflect on this proverb as I can be, let's say, challenging to deal with on certain days. I'm up, I'm down, I'm hot, I'm cold...you get the point. Thankfully, I think most people, not just women, could describe themselves as challenging but in the last few days I'm learning something new about myself in that regard. How very 7th Heaven of me, right? Anyway, I'm learning, yet again, that I'm not quite as grown up as I thought. I'm realizing that as many times as he can say, "This is new for me, I've never felt this way about someone so tell me how all of this is supposed to go" that I'm in the same boat. Certain situations of a relationship are situations that he will know how to navigate through better than I will and that irritates me. I'm not used to having to learn things through the help of another fehh! I'll learn it on my own, thank you very much. I'm not used to interacting on a daily basis with someone who in some ways, not all, is more mature than I am. I've got how to handle the immature brats down pat! But specifically speaking to my current situation, I now know what he's known all along....to truly appreciate the time we spend together. Seems simple right? When I'm crabby, tired, and things aren't going my way, I tend to act like a stubborn 5 year old, except a lot more bitchy but he always remains calm. He puts up with it, for God knows what reason but he does and I'm thankful.

He is away for a few days, in a place with limited communication and I miss him. The first day he was gone, I walked past places and did things that we might go to and do together. All of a sudden it felt like we had broken up, which felt awful. Obviously we are not broken up and I backed my way off the ledge a few seconds later but it made me realize how much more I need to appreciate the time we spend together. Trust me, we take advantage of the fact that we live in the same city, have similar work schedules, and can see each other probably more often than we should but do I really appreciate it? Maybe not always. There may be times when I take it for granted.

I'm not promising that I won't ever be crabby, tired, or bitchy in his presence because when two people spend as much time together as we do, it's bound to happen. However I am promising to be more aware of it. The honeymoon phase is still looming, and these instances of bitchiness are not as frequent as it might appear through this post but when thinking about the ratio, I'm certainly in the lead.

This all got me thinking about the concepts of appreciation and taking advantage. It sits well in the bar industry as well. When it's busy, we are all happy to work because the rush is exhilarating and you know you're making bank. However when the night starts slow and remains pretty slow, instead of appreciating the few customers who do come in, you want to punch them. When it's slow, it makes you not want to do anything at all so we take for granted the small number of customers we actually have.

In terms of those standing on the other side of the bar, the thing I hate the most to hear from people is, "Can I get a discount?" or "If you charge me less, I'll tip you more...." People please, I know how it works. I have a love/hate relationship with the crowd that comes into the bar. I know a lot of them, I used to have friends just like them, and simply put, we are dependent on them for business...hence, the love. But holy hell, the hatred. The hatred that they can be so ignorant is beyond me. They take for granted the environment we set up for them that is safe and fun. They take advantage of the breaks we all sometimes cut for them and few of them genuinely appreciate the service we provide them.

Speaking of Georgetown (oops, I guess the cat is outta the bag), I share the same sentiment about my time at Georgetown U. As a student, you take advantage of the hours you have to BS with your friends on the stoop of Saxby's, of how prestigious your education really is, and of the ease of having your gym, laundry room, cafeteria, library, and bar within a 5 minute walk from where you live. You take advantage of the quiet time in the library, of the fact that you don't have a single thing to do on Fridays and that Senior Week is hands down the most surreal week of your life thus far. It's only after I have left school that I can appreciate all of those times and more. I look out at the crowd on a Friday night knowing that they really don't appreciate just how good they have it right now.

Sassarella Says...it's gotta be a maturity thing, as most things I write about are. Acting like a brat is selfish behavior which helps me understand why in those moments I, and the others I just wrote about, have a hard time seeing the bigger picture. I am in my own selfish and bratty world, not realizing that HELLO! Sassarella, you're taking advantage of the first good one to come along because you know he isn't going anywhere. How immature is that?! I'm honestly a little embarrassed to even write it because I get it now; the grown up thing to do is to appreciate and not take the good one, the bartenders, the college experience, or whatever person, place, or thing relates to you for granted. UHH DUHH.