Sigh No More

I walked into a Nine West a little bit ago (no, not to shop, don't be silly...all I can do is look and admire) and I was greeted by a friendly looking man in a suit. Clearly, it was the day that Nine West was having a visit from corporate. Anyway, he did not greet me with the usual, "Hiiii! WELCOME TO NINE WEST!!" He greeted me with a large sigh, he waited for me to respond, and when I simply stared blankly and gave an awkward smile back, he began to laugh. "Bad joke, sorry," he said as he pointed to my shirt. "Oh! (haha) sorry, I'm not all here today," I responded before he laughed again and let me to know to call him if I needed anything. I was in such a zone and in such a daze that I wasn't even aware that my shirt read, "Sigh No More." Never mind the irony of "Sigh No More" which could be interpreted as worry no more....

I browsed around and walked out thinking about how that was the icing on the cake given the past couple of weeks I had had. I was constantly preoccupied. I was having conversations but not really having conversations because I was so in my own head. I couldn't seem to relax or turn my brain off whether it was job related, health related, where I want to live related, or relating to my relationships...friends, family, boy, etc. Should I this? Should I that? Well what if "A" happens, unless "B" happens first because then I want "C" to happen. And this wasn't going on simply in times of acceptable reflection but even in times of company, it was stupid. It kept my up at night but made me want to sleep all day in an attempt to avoid it all.

Lol. A total exaggeration but I couldn't resist.

If I work here then I can't work there but I still want to work there so now what?

If I live here then I won't live there. When can I live there? Should I stay here? What will happen if I go? What will happen if I stay?

If it all turns out this way then I'll have to go that way but how will I get there? Will I have to take off of work? I don't want to take off of work.

I haven't called back. Do it today? No can do. Do it tomorrow? Maybe. It's tomorrow. Ugh ok, do it tomorrow. Hopefully.

Of course I've censored (and shortened) every thing that I thought about all the g.d. time for the sake of my own privacy and for your interest in reading this, because on the verge of a meltdown I actually sat up and said out loud to myself, "SHUT UP!!!!"

However, this week, times have changed. I'm settling into a new full-time job and getting the lay of the land. I am forming new routines and thankfully, new sleeping patterns! I'm actually falling asleep around midnight, instead of 3am or later. I'm back into exercising and eating healthier foods. I'm drinking more water and feeling more energized throughout most of the day. I have a sense of calmness that I've never had before. I have a job that means a steady and reliable income and benefits. I still have my bartending job because I love it and because at this point, I need all the income I can get. I still see my friends here who technically have a completely opposite schedule than I do. And I realized this week that it really is weird to go to sleep without him next to me...not just in a cute way but in a, wow I'm so comfortable in this relationship kind of way. Mozel!

This isn't a motivational, time heals all, this too shall pass post because we all have to go through our sh!t and figure out it as it comes but I'm sure as hell happy to be on the other side of last month. I can't tell you what to do when every little detail of your life overwhelms you (I usually recommend Fireball) because I didn't know what to tell myself. All I know is that it can't last forever.

Sassarella Says...so be happy for me, damnit!

Is it them or is it us?

"Is it them or is it us?" I whispered to my boyfriend while seated at a table of four other couples. I couldn't help but notice that we were visably the only pair who was touching each other almost the entire time. Gross, C, really? But not in a dirty way but rather in a, I'm completely aware of who is sitting beside me kind of way. Throughout the meal, either he had a hand on my knee, I had a hand on his arm, or we were leaning over for the occasional peck on the lips. Reading what I just typed makes me want to smack myself, "You can't even sit and eat without PDA?" Seriously? Unfortunately, anyone who has spent time with us as a couple knows that PDA was once an issue. My boyfriend blames it on that fact that he is Hispanic and it's simply part of his culture to be touchy-feely and lovey-dovey, but at one time we did need to have a sit down about what is appropriate and what is not. Fortunately, I think those same people are pleasantly surprised by how quickly we snapped into action to make everyone feel more comfortable without losing our ability to show our attraction to each other in public.

However, this leads me to my question, "is it them or is it us?" Are we the minority when it comes to this behavior? I've always known my parents to be very affectionate towards each other. As a kid I hoped for less of it but I know that they have a great marriage and there is not a doubt in my mind about why; they show their affection for each other constantly. Not that it is the only factor but in order for any relationship to make it long term, a constant needs to be an intense attraction to each other. Sometimes (and by sometimes I mean always) when my man is walking behind me he grabs my ass and when I push his hand away or protest in embarrassment, he'll say, "One day I'll stop doing that and you're gonna be all, 'remember when you used to grab my ass? Why don't you do that anymore?'" And he's right. So what is so wrong with that? Why is it that at a table of four other couples did I not see routine affection from them? Not even a side hug.

Although now that I'm thinking about it, I guess there could have been some knee touching or some hand holding going on under the table but not in the way that we were. We're never shy about it. Actually to be honest, he's never shy about it. Sometimes he mocks me because he'll lean in for the 20th kiss in a 20 minute period of time and I groan or hesitantly kiss him back. He'll say, "Ohhhhh I know, it's just horrible that he wants to kiss me all the time. Why does he love me so much? It's terribleeee." He attempts his best mocking me tone and it's getting better with time but it does make me wonder. Why is it so terrible? It's not. Which leads me to ask yet again, "is it them or is it us?" Is there more affection going on than I'm aware of and I'm simply more aware of our affections because we were called out on them? I'm just not sure. What I do know is this: all couples are different and can operate successfully in different dynamics, a strong attraction is vital, and if I'm 75 years old and whoever my guy is still wants to grab my old, flat ass then we must be doing something right.

Sassarella says...I think it's them. Or maybe it's us.

On DC vs. the Rest of the World

As expected, those who live in New Jersey (or at least know me from New Jersey), loved my last post and those who live in DC with me were confused, frustrated, and even a little disappointed. They were left wondering how it is even a debate where I want to end up when it so clearly seemed like I had already made my decision. However, those people did not realize that another post was coming in defense of Washington, DC. There are pros and cons to living in both but just as I explained the pros of being in NJ, I need to explain the pros of being in DC....

My family - Once you work "in the industry" aka bartending, you are part of a social cult that does everything together. You work the most strange hours on the most opposite days of the week as everyone else and come to bond over the ridiculousness that is your job. Our favorite days are Sundays and Mondays, which are usually the most dreaded days for day-walkers. Our job horror stories come from slammed Friday and Saturday nights, which are usually the most fun days for day-walkers. You get my point, I'm sure. Through this family, I have built relationships with numerous people, including the one and only B.Ryan, which I have come to really appreciate and love. Not to mention, one of the greatest nights of the year, Zinzi Ball. I look forward to Sunday Fundays, trips to Dewey Beach, orca platters at Old Ebbitt, and so on. I don't have a family quite like this dysfunctional yet amazing group anywhere else.

My Person - As I have made known through other posts, I have a boyfriend. I met him here, he lives here, his family lives here, his work is here aka he's not leaving here anytime soon. He means enough to me to make me want to stay in DC knowing that it means that I'll get to be with him.

Georgetown University - Although I don't go to campus often, whenever I do I am reminded of one successful period of time in my life. I'm reminded of at least one good thing that's happened to me in the last couple of years. Still feeling a bit lost, in terms of my career and future plans, that is one thing that I know is solid. I went to Georgetown University, suckas. Although I do worry about raising kids too close to campus out of fear that they won't want to go to a school so close to home....but I guess I have a few more years before I really need to worry about that.

My independence - It is no secret that I am a completely different person in DC than am I in New Jersey. In DC, I have my own routines, my own agendas, and my own apartment (it is small and annoying but it is mine). Any reputation I have here is one that I created, not one that is stuck with me from middle school or high school and I love that. I love that I am more proactive here and less likely to follow in the footsteps of any friend or relative. I make my own decisions here and that is something I don't always feel I can do in NJ.

The city - DuPont, Adam's Morgan, Logan Circle, the Georgetown Waterfront, Midtown, Cleveland Park, Chinatown....I could keep going. These are all neighborhoods that I am a frequent visitor for either new restaurants, old restaurants, movies, shopping, or for exercise. I like that I can take a different running route and not get bored all week long before having to start over. I like that I have a list of restaurants that I still want to try. I like that on a given day I see Obama's motorcade drive by or that I can see the White House and the monuments any time I want. What I particularly like about DC, as a city, is that it is big enough to be exciting yet small enough to have a small town feel. I often see the same people walking in my neighborhood and I know just where to find my friends but it is still a city with exciting new things to do.

The weather - Believe it or not, I like the hot weather. Of course it can be annoying and even gross but I like that we have shorter winters, longer springs and summers, and a touch of fall weather. I have learned over the last few years, that winter aka cold weather and dark, gloomy days and nights severely affect my mood and motivation. I am much happier in sunny, warm weather which we get plenty of just four hours south of New Jersey.

Sassarella Says...although DC is very different from the NJ lifestyle that I am comfortable and accustomed to, I can't say that it is a bad different. I like living here, for now, but what I fear is the unknown about the future. In my last post, I was able to clearly articulate exactly how my life would be if I end up in New Jersey and I can't say that about living in DC. I can't say whether or not I'd stay in the actual city forever or if I'd move to Virginia or Maryland. I can't say for sure who I'd spend all my time with and where I'd pick my kids of up from school. I can't say that the lifestyle I'll create for myself will fit in here because you can take the girl out of the Jersey but you can't take the Jersey out of the girl. Either way, I love DC and if I didn't love it for the reasons I stated above, there would be no debate...but clearly there is a big fat debate.

On New Jersey vs. the Rest of the World

At least four times a week, I have an internal debate about where I want to live and at least once a week that debate is shared with someone else. We talk about the same pros and cons about staying in DC, moving back to NJ, or even moving somewhere completely different! Madrid for a year or so is still on my mind, don't think that thought went anywhere but a little bit further back in my brain. Anyway, right before my trip to Spain I spent a few days in New Jersey which always makes this debate much more difficult. New Jersey has things that the rest of the world doesn't, plain and simple.

My Family - This is pretty self-explanatory but to put things in perspective for you, even my oldest brother who has lived in California since the day I started kindergarten is moving back to the east coast. My entire immediate family will be in New Jersey or New York except for me. Sad face.

Lauren Ann Masini - Wherever I choose to live, I will never be able to replace her. I live my life with a sense of, "I don't have a Lauren here and I never will. I don't need a Lauren here because I have the real thing in NJ." Even if I wanted to, I could not have another Lauren in any other city, state, or country because to have a Lauren requires years of history, years of shared ups and downs, years of memories, and finding a person who just freakin' gets you in a way that no one else does.

Attitude - Anyone who lives in New Jersey has an attitude and a personality bigger than life. I like that we have some swag and that it is often obvious where I am from before I even have to tell someone. We flip tables, we snap our fingers, we talk with our hands, and we like it.

Radio - We have z100 and Hot 97.1. No radio stations in the country even compare to our stations...they are New York City stations, I mean come on.

Diners - New Jersey diners...always open, always serving breakfast, and are always of high quality. Diners in NJ are establishments of pride, not only of convenience and we know just how lucky we are to have them. Only in NJ can you order a taylor ham, egg, and cheese at 4:40am on a Tuesday.

New York City - Residents of NY are usually insulted, frustrated, and irritated by the fact that people from NJ closely associate ourselves with NY but get over it. I love knowing that I can hop in the car or get on the train and quickly have access to the restaurants, shopping, job opportunities, and environment that NYC has to offer. Let's take a limo into the city and club hop around. Why? Because we can and because we know we can stop at a diner on the way home.

Luxury - Fine, I'll say it...I really like nice things. In the part of NJ that I grew up in we are partial to nice things. Nice cars, nice shoes, nice hand bags, and nice homes. We get good hair cuts, stellar spray tans, acrylic nails, and the latest gadgets. We are spoiled by great restaurants and are snobby about our food and drink. There is no greater feeling than the one I get in my car with the top down driving to the Short Hills Mall (someone smack me, I know). But the thing of it is that because it is so normal to us and because every where you look the person next you has the same level of luxury on her finger or on her feet, it is acceptable. We like a life of luxury and have found a way to be, in my opinion, somewhat humble normal about it.

Guidos - On the other end of the spectrum, I can't help but love me some guidos. White tank tops, big muscles, fresh to death kicks, and chains. I like the way they talk and they way they walk. I always had a thing for them all the while knowing this is not the type of boy you really end up with but they're fun to look at.

The Shore - No matter what you think, there is no greater place to spend a summer than at the Jersey Shore. The Jersey Shore is a way of life that everyone in NJ understands. Beach all day, Parker House happy hour, Leggetts, Osprey, and Bar A at night, and late night bowls of pasta in the kitchen. Going for a run and showering after a long day at the beach, coming downstairs to find everyone on the back patio playing cards and drinking beers is the Jersey Shore. Tiki Bar all day Monday and ending up back there that night after a mid-day nap and slice of pizza is the Jersey Shore. No place else compares.

I'm sure other towns and states have characteristics to them that make their residents feel unique but what always stands out to me is the level of pride I have in New Jersey. People in New Jersey have an extraordinary amount of pride in their state, their family, their friends, their attitude, their radio stations, their city, their luxurious lifestyle, their accents, and their beach. We will defend our state and our lifestyle to the death. We know we are a little crazy but we kinda like that too. We don't care if you think guidos are stupid or that having seven Louis Vuittons is a waste because our pride exceeds our need to impress outsiders.

Sassarella Says...my dilemma still exists. All of the previously stated points are ones that center around how I saw the rest of my life progressing. I saw myself leaving my big office in New York City to pick up the little ones from practice at their fancy private school in my Range Rover. I saw myself meeting Lauren for lunch at Joe's in the mall, buying a cute new outfit before going to get our nails done and having a spray tan. I saw us going out to a nice dinner with Tanya Bo Banya and our hubbies in Hoboken that night. I saw myself having my brothers, my sister, their families, my parents, and the Wilkes' over to the house for Sunday dinner, which I will have of course ordered in from Nonna's. I saw us sharing bottles of wine and knowing that we'll get to do it again next weekend. I saw myself waking up on Monday and starting it all over again. To live in New Jersey is a way of life that I love and don't think I've quite given up on having yet.

DJ CFabb: Cleaning Shmeaning

5:10pm - Gather clothes scattered around the room that need to be washed and put them into the basket.

5:14pm - Enter the elevator to head to the basement laundry room, all the while thinking, "It's 5:15 on a gorgeous Thursday night so I'm sure no one will be doing laundry."

5:15pm - Walk towards the laundry room and see that the automatic light (that only goes on when someone is in the room) is on and think, "Shit."

5:16pm - See 4 maids folding dry laundry and see that all of the machine lids are down, which usually always means they are running.

5:17pm - Notice that two of the machines are not running but that the person has not come down to move her stuff into the dryers.

5:17pm - Contemplate taking whoever's stuff it is out of the washer and put it on top of another one so I can use it, I mean who knows how long it's been sitting there!

5:18pm - Decide to wait for the maids to leave. It's always better to violate someone's privacy without an audience.

5:20pm - Maids exit.

5:20pm - Enter laundry room. Open and close the lids on the two washers that contain stuff I need to move. Open and close them again, still contemplating what I would say should this person walk in and catch me moving her stuff, "I'm sorry I know this is so rude but I need these clothes for work tonight!" Total lie but whatever.

5:21pm - Doing it. Move her stuff to the top of another washer. Put my stuff in the washers very quickly and get my bag for my laundry card.

5:22pm - "You a$shole. After all of this, YOU FORGOT YOUR CARD UPSTAIRS?!?!" I thought to myself. THE WORST.

5:23pm - Head towards the elevators, very pissed off. As I approach the door, people exit the elevator. I notice they seem to be doing laundry and am now certain that it is the girl whose stuff I moved. I attempt to turn my body and fold up my basket, hoping she won't notice that I'm doing laundry because she will then see her stuff and know that I moved it. Yikes.

5:25pm - Decide to wait at least 10 mins before going back downstairs to start my machine. I do not want to run into her.

5:40pm - Go back downstairs to start my washers.

5:43pm - Start machine 1. Attempt to start machine 2...."LOW FUNDS," it tells me.

5:45pm - Even more pissed off, head back upstairs for cash.

5:47pm - Add money to my card and start machine 2.

There is nothing I hate more than having to trek back and forth to the laundry room, especially when I have to make extra trips because I forgot my card or do not realize the card is out of money! Later in the laundry excursion, I made sure to put two articles of clothing in two different dryers in order to save them because someone else was doing laundry on the same schedule that I was. It's just ridiculous....a building with 8 floors should have more than 6 washers and dryers!

Anyway, in between trips to the laundry room I decided to really clean my apartment. Usually when I "clean up my apartment" what I really mean is that I'm tidying up because I just pick up the clothes off the floor, re-organize the bathroom, and maybe dust a bit here and there. However, since I bought a Swifter Wet Jet (that is absolutely addicting) and actual cleaning supplies for the bathroom, I was anxious to use them. I cleaned the bathroom better than I have since I've lived here and at first it was satisfying but I was quickly over it. Not to mention the fact that I have a boy here half the time which leaves an apartment with different dirtinesses than I'm used to having (no offense, babeeee). Give me spray tan stains, I can handle it but boy stuff was just like, "wtf, I ain't in Kansas no mo'." By the time I got mid-way through cleaning the shower I started to think about how many more years I have of cleaning a bathroom and I didn't like that much at all, "Yeahhhh so I'll eventually pay someone to do this sh!t for me, fingers crossed."

I was pissed off at the laundry debacle and coughing from the fumes in the cleaning products but hey, at least I made a good playlist....

"Part of Me" - Katy Perry (Raffael De Luca & Joel Jungell bootleg)

"Can't Stop Prutataaa" - Afrojack & Dada Life ft. Alesso

"B#tch City" - R3hab vs. 3LAU

"Lost in the World" (Tiesto Remix) - Kanye West

"Donald Trump" (dubstep remix) - Neon Hitch

"Party Shot" - Major Lazor, Popcaan

"Domino in My Mind" - Ivan Gough, Feenixpawl, Axwell, Jessie J

"Call Me Greyhound" - Swedish House Mafia & Carly Ray Jepsen

"Sing My Ass Back Home" - Thomas Gold ft. Neon Hitch, Steve Aoki

"Spaceman I Used to Know" - Hardwell ft. Gotye, Adele, Lady Gaga

"Danza Kuduro" (REMIX) - Don Omar ft. Akon

"Bon, Bon" - Pitbull

"Rebels in the Light" - Manicanparty

Sassarella Says....where's Mr. Clean when ya need him?

Less Monumental Happenings

There are milestones in relationships that help us gauge what level of the relationship you are at with the other person. I just experienced a milestone; he gave me a drawer of his dresser. He was so matter-of-fact about it too, "Hey I made space in this drawer here...(pause, because I did not immediately react)...as in, you can put things in it."

"You're giving me a drawerrrrrr," I exclaimed slash whined in a girly high-pitched voice meaning to convey, "ain't you the sweetest!" It hadn't even occurred to me to ask for space to put things. Awhile back I brought a toiletry bag and a towel over to leave there but now I have a whole drawer? I've never been given a drawer before but what's funny is that the exclamation slash whine in a girly high-pitched voice was more for show than anything else. What I mean by that is, offering up space in your dresser or closet to your significant other, we are told, is a way of showing your commitment and is meant to really mean something but I didn't need a drawer to know that about him. He shows his commitment to me and his love for me in such better ways than a drawer. I love the drawer, don't get me wrong, and I love that I didn't have to ask for it and that he was the one to think of it but it felt a little matter-of-fact for me too.

Of course it got me thinking about other milestones like meeting the parents, giving the other person a key to your place, moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having children, etc. I also started to think about less monumental milestones (maybe we should call them happenings), for instance, the first time you get invited to a party as a couple, the first time you go away together, the first time you know what he'll want to order at a restaurant and you order it, the first time you go out with a couple who is together a shorter amount of time than you are, you get the point. These are all instances when you are fully aware of the fact that you are in a relationship. For someone who hasn't been in a relationship in years, these are happenings that I am very aware of and enjoy. However what I love about this relationship is that they seem secondary to the big picture. They seem like the drawer, very matter-of-fact in that we've got one big milestone down already (we've both met the parents) and I, holy sh!t balls, see potential in other big milestones. We've both hinted at this but never actually say anything as a definite, for obvious reasons, but seeing potential of other big milestones makes the less monumental happenings very matter-of-fact.

I can remember being with guys who if they had given me a drawer, it would have been the biggest and most important day in the relationship thus far because I would finally know that he feels a commitment. I've always had to fight for confirmation from past sig-o's about how they feel about me and where they see things going but not now. The less monumental happenings in my current situation are wonderful but I have a duhh feeling towards them. Duh, we have stuff in drawers at each other's places. Duh, we'll be at your party on Sunday. Duh, he'll have a Miller Lite, a shot of Jameson, and if that has shrimp in it, he'll have it!

So what I'm concluding from all of this is that being offered a drawer in your boyfriend's dresser should be sweet, thoughtful, and meaningful but not monumental. I understand that not everyone has a way with words and can convey a message clearly so maybe offering a drawer at that time is monumental but at some point there's gotta be more. There has to be that direct verbal communication of feelings, "I love you, you mean the world to me, and I'm not going anywhere." To me, that's the only way you get to those real milestones. When I'm 80 years old I'm going to remember the day he (whoever he is) met my parents, our first apartment, and the day we got engaged as opposed to the first time I knew he would want the shrimp cocktail or perhaps even the day he gave me a drawer in his dresser.

Sassarella Says...as meaningful as it is that I have my own drawer in his space, I know that if I wanted to bring 3 drawers full of things, every hair product, stick of make-up, and shoe I own over to his place that he would have it. Giving me a drawer was more about him wanting me to be comfortable so that I will be over as often as humanly possible. And he knows as well as I do that it was not about either of us needing to confirm our commitment and love for each other because we do that in more milestone-style of ways.

I'm A Little Weird Without You Here.

There is a Swedish proverb that reads, "love me when I least deserve it because that is when I need it the most." I sometimes reflect on this proverb as I can be, let's say, challenging to deal with on certain days. I'm up, I'm down, I'm hot, I'm cold...you get the point. Thankfully, I think most people, not just women, could describe themselves as challenging but in the last few days I'm learning something new about myself in that regard. How very 7th Heaven of me, right? Anyway, I'm learning, yet again, that I'm not quite as grown up as I thought. I'm realizing that as many times as he can say, "This is new for me, I've never felt this way about someone so tell me how all of this is supposed to go" that I'm in the same boat. Certain situations of a relationship are situations that he will know how to navigate through better than I will and that irritates me. I'm not used to having to learn things through the help of another fehh! I'll learn it on my own, thank you very much. I'm not used to interacting on a daily basis with someone who in some ways, not all, is more mature than I am. I've got how to handle the immature brats down pat! But specifically speaking to my current situation, I now know what he's known all along....to truly appreciate the time we spend together. Seems simple right? When I'm crabby, tired, and things aren't going my way, I tend to act like a stubborn 5 year old, except a lot more bitchy but he always remains calm. He puts up with it, for God knows what reason but he does and I'm thankful.

He is away for a few days, in a place with limited communication and I miss him. The first day he was gone, I walked past places and did things that we might go to and do together. All of a sudden it felt like we had broken up, which felt awful. Obviously we are not broken up and I backed my way off the ledge a few seconds later but it made me realize how much more I need to appreciate the time we spend together. Trust me, we take advantage of the fact that we live in the same city, have similar work schedules, and can see each other probably more often than we should but do I really appreciate it? Maybe not always. There may be times when I take it for granted.

I'm not promising that I won't ever be crabby, tired, or bitchy in his presence because when two people spend as much time together as we do, it's bound to happen. However I am promising to be more aware of it. The honeymoon phase is still looming, and these instances of bitchiness are not as frequent as it might appear through this post but when thinking about the ratio, I'm certainly in the lead.

This all got me thinking about the concepts of appreciation and taking advantage. It sits well in the bar industry as well. When it's busy, we are all happy to work because the rush is exhilarating and you know you're making bank. However when the night starts slow and remains pretty slow, instead of appreciating the few customers who do come in, you want to punch them. When it's slow, it makes you not want to do anything at all so we take for granted the small number of customers we actually have.

In terms of those standing on the other side of the bar, the thing I hate the most to hear from people is, "Can I get a discount?" or "If you charge me less, I'll tip you more...." People please, I know how it works. I have a love/hate relationship with the crowd that comes into the bar. I know a lot of them, I used to have friends just like them, and simply put, we are dependent on them for business...hence, the love. But holy hell, the hatred. The hatred that they can be so ignorant is beyond me. They take for granted the environment we set up for them that is safe and fun. They take advantage of the breaks we all sometimes cut for them and few of them genuinely appreciate the service we provide them.

Speaking of Georgetown (oops, I guess the cat is outta the bag), I share the same sentiment about my time at Georgetown U. As a student, you take advantage of the hours you have to BS with your friends on the stoop of Saxby's, of how prestigious your education really is, and of the ease of having your gym, laundry room, cafeteria, library, and bar within a 5 minute walk from where you live. You take advantage of the quiet time in the library, of the fact that you don't have a single thing to do on Fridays and that Senior Week is hands down the most surreal week of your life thus far. It's only after I have left school that I can appreciate all of those times and more. I look out at the crowd on a Friday night knowing that they really don't appreciate just how good they have it right now.

Sassarella Says...it's gotta be a maturity thing, as most things I write about are. Acting like a brat is selfish behavior which helps me understand why in those moments I, and the others I just wrote about, have a hard time seeing the bigger picture. I am in my own selfish and bratty world, not realizing that HELLO! Sassarella, you're taking advantage of the first good one to come along because you know he isn't going anywhere. How immature is that?! I'm honestly a little embarrassed to even write it because I get it now; the grown up thing to do is to appreciate and not take the good one, the bartenders, the college experience, or whatever person, place, or thing relates to you for granted. UHH DUHH.