"Make it work" - Tim Gunn, P.R.

My mother's client: "Oh that's so nice that Christie is working at the store. 

Do you think it will inspire her to go into the family business?"

My mother: "Nope, I actually think it is curing her of EVER wanting to take over."

Yeah, so about that. My brain is on the verge of exploding, my creative juices are compromised and suppressed. This is bad news bears, I've had just about enough. I was in a Starbucks last week for a caffeine fix after work before heading to the gym and I took a minute to look around. There were tables of people, one girl in particular, sitting with her laptop open, head phones on, typing away. A pang of jealousy hit me and then another one of nostalgia for the hours I used to spend at Saxby's in between classes writing posts in DC. I'm still writing posts but I write them over the course of two days, fitting it whenever I can. I rarely ever take the time to sit and enjoy what I'm doing or be sure that the posts are as cohesive and entertaining as they once were (in my opinion).

On Tuesday I got out of work a bit earlier than usual so I decided it was time to get back into the coffee shop writing routine. I went to Starbucks in FP, grabbed a table, and a wrote a post. It wasn't my best and I knew it as I was writing it but it felt good to be back. While sitting there a former middle school classmate caught my attention and asked about my blog. She said she read it awhile back, one about music, and complimented me on how interested she was in that particular post. LOVE IT. I told her to keep checking back in! A few minutes later, two more middle school classmates hopped out of a car and waved hello. I don't keep in touch with these two guys but through Facebook and Twitter I know that they are both heavily invested in their creative talents. One, Rob Cali, spends his time working as a DJ with gigs all over New Jersey, including the famous club from the Jersey Shore called Karma. The other, Matt Enderle, is an aspiring photographer who recently developed a website to showcase his work and to offer his services for parties, weddings, athletics, etc. [Check em out!] Another pang of intense jealously came over me as I sat there writing a mediocre post.

I have no clue if they have other jobs, other responsibilities, or any motivation of making full blow careers of these activities but as far as I can tell, they spend a lot more time actively engaging in them than I have recently spent writing. I want what they have: absolute obligation and credibility given to what they love to do. This is BATSO, what am I doing? I've been banking on my upcoming trip to California to give me some direction, so more focus, and a better idea of the "real job" that I want to have so it had better do that. My brain, my heart, and my ambition will be hurting if I come back here just as lost as I am now.

Switching gears (but I promise it will come together), I watch A LOT of Bravo TV. Probably more than I should ever admit but I'm really and truly addicted to that network. I watch every single Real Housewives series, Bethanny Ever After, Top Chef, Million Dollar Decorator, Flipping Out, Platinum Hit (it started slow and boring but it's getting better), Kell on Earth, Million Dollar Listing, Millionaire Matchmaker, The Rachel Zoe Project, and Project Runway. Ya ha bi bi, I can't get enough of them!

"I die. You look bananas and are completely shutting it down." - Rachel Zoe

So in the middle of another night of a Bravo TV marathon, I figured out what I have to do. I have to do something utterly fabulous, completely entertaining, and highly in demand with my life so that I can then get a show on Bravo. Of course I immediately texted my brother, Matt, to inform him that we need to start a business/company/whatever and do this together. Every show needs a character and he would make us stars for sure. I have it all planned out: we get our own show, it gets super popular, and then our business will excel even more. Then we hit baller status: I'll be considered such an expert in my field that Bravo will develop a show that I can then judge rookies trying to get into my field, I'll make dreams come true, and become a mentor to these aspiring creative minds. THEN I'll hit the mother lode: I'll be asked to guest judge on Rocco's Dinner Party or Top Chef. I'll eat great food, meet the other fantastic guest judges, we'll combine forces and make even more miracles happen. I'll also casually seduce Tom Colicchio, he'll leave his wife, and we will get hitched. We'll then open up a stellar bar and restaurant in NYC. Salute, Sassarella!

Anyway, this is all incredible but then I watched a movie this past weekend called Love Happens. A self-help guru, who lost his wife in a car crash, wrote a book and travels the country helping others cope with death. In the film, you see the guru (named Burke) and the people he is helping, make breakthroughs in their recovery. The one particularly touching story is about a contractor whose young son is killed at a construction site. The man loses his business, his wife, and he says he can't even go near a hardware store anymore. He resists Burke's help but eventually pulls through. Burke even takes an entire convention full of people to a Home Depot to help the man get over his fear and move on with his life. Not an overall great movie, but that was an incredible scene.

Walter and Burke at Home Depot, Love Happens

So then I thought that a show on Bravo simply isn't enough. I want to help people too. I wouldn't turn down the opportunity, however I don't want to just make money based solely on the fact that viewers will watch the chaos and creativity of my future office. There has to be a bigger picture. It will obviously be called Sassarella Says... so what could I do? I clearly have some stories, some advice, and some laughs for young girls but ehh that sounds so cliche. I'd hate to be that voice that parents and teachers shove down thirteen year old's throats because they think what I have to say is valuable. What to do, what to do? I do know this, I'd much rather intensely help five people at a time than reach out to thousands of people at a time and only minimally interact with them. What I'm about to say is ambitious, I realize that, but it will help clarify my point: you know how Oprah is a major household name, a brand, and money-making machine but still manages to touch and affect change at the individual level? Yeah, that's the stuff I'm talking about. Watch this Love Happens movie too - he is a well-known author and popular figure but through the conventions is able to deeply impact individuals.

I need ideas, people! How do I make this work? What is the angle that I need to take? How can I make this blog not only worthwhile for me in that I continue to write, do what I love, and make money but also make a person weep in relief because of something I was able to say or do to change his or her life? Lots to think about. And btw, while you're thinking, follow me on twitter @cnigara :-) Read it, tweet it, tell your friends about it, anything to help spread my good word. Like most people I encounter, the initial female middle school classmate was hesitant to tell me she liked the post and that always fascinates me. People think that it's going to sound weird or creepy but HEYYROO I post links all over the Internet, OF COURSE I want you to read it. Don't be shy, kids!

Sassarella Says...My name is Sassarella and I have a problem. I am addicted to Bravo TV. I want my own show on this network about my career, I want to encourage others to be in my chosen field by hosting and judging a competition show, and then I want to be invited onto Top Chef. Easy enough, right? Through this show on Bravo, I will have the platform to affect change. I've never been the charity/volunteer work kinda girl so the angle I take in performing this endeavor will have to instill passion in me. A lack of passion is fatal for any career therefore mine cannot be cheesy or ordinary. It has to be different and it has to be mine. Shaaaa-ZAM.

Love Happens has a kick ass soundtrack too, check it out:

"Fresh Feeling" by Eels

"Everyday" by Rogue Wave