Confessions of a Skinny Girl

"It's not what you look at that matters,

it's what you see." - Henry David Thoreau

Morning:
10:25 - Alarm goes off, hit snooze. Roll over because meh I don't wanna get up.

10:28 - Roll back over, turn the alarm off before it has a chance to annoy me again.

10:29 - No, forget it, there's no way I'm getting up right now.

10:30 - Brain goes crazy. You had a few vodka sodas last night and you have to work tonight so there's no chance you're going to do it later. FINE! I'll effing get up and go to yoga.

10:45 - Coffee, apple, Facebook. More coffee. See who's teaching the yoga class and sign up online.

10:50 - Get moving. Ugh, I can't. I'll take the bus, that will give me an extra few minutes.

11:05 - How did I get dressed so fast? Stall a few minutes before walking to the bus stop.

11:10 - I'm bored. I might have a few french fries tonight. FINE! I'll walk to yoga.

11:12-11:45 - Walk, speed walk rather, from Dupont to Georgetown.

Afternoon:
12:00-1:00 - Yoga. Downward facing dog. Inhale. Exhale. Chaturunga. Upward facing dog.

1:15 - Wait 15 minutes for the bus or....FINE! I'll walk home.

1:20-1:55 - Walk home. Chug water. Stop for a G2 Gatorade because I'm still shaking.

2:00 - Get out the plate and fill it with lettuce. Wash the lettuce. Get the cutting board. Cut up zucchini, squash, and cucumber. Tomatoes. Garbanzo beans. Break up pieces of turkey. Slice up a string cheese. A dash of salt, no dressing. Mange.

2:20 - Google the nutritional facts for buffalo sauce. I'm addicted.

2:30 - Shower.

2:45-4:45 - Blog. Facebook. Twitter. Repeat. Make phone calls. Get hungry again. Eat a yogurt.

Evening:
5:00 - Leave a few minutes early for work.

5:05-:5:10 - Internal struggle: to buy candy at CVS or not.

5:11 - Enter CVS. Look at the candy. Read the labels. Decide a few Mike & Ikes won't kill you. Besides, you're in shape now.

5:14 - FINE! I'll at least walk to work while I'm eating them.

5:16-5:45 - Walk to work from Dupont to Georgetown.

6:30 - Eat a carrot stick from the bowl.

6:45 - Eat a few french fries.

7:00 - STOP EATING FRIES...but dipping them in buffalo sauce is SO GOOD. New tab: "Christie" / Order: "Grilled chicken pleaseee, Simo"

7:25 - Eat one piece of grilled chicken. Dip each piece, ever so slightly, in mild buffalo sauce.

8:00 - Finish off the Mike & Ikes.

9:00 - Brittany: "Are you hungry? If I get something will you have some?" Internal debate: you already ate, you don't need whatever she wants to order but it's slow and I'm bored.

9:01 - Me: "Sure! Get whatever, I'll have a bite or two."

9:02 - New tab: "We like to party" / Order: "Eight BBQ Wings, thanks Dad"

9:30 - Only eat 3 wings.

11:15 - To drink or not to drink?

11:25 - To drink it is. Stoli-O and water.

Early morning:
Midnight - One more drink.

1:00 - Head home, hungry. Reflect on what I ate and drank that day. Ehh, not horrible.

1:15 - Yay, I get another work out in...have se...oh wait, not anymore. Have water, popcorn, and salsa instead.

1:17-2:00 - Watch Gilmore Girls. More water and G2 Gatorade.

2:00-4:00 - Toss and turn.

4:05 - Pass out.

4:06-10:24 - Sleep.

10:25 in the morning - start all over.

If you know me at all you know that I'm not naturally thin. I'm curvy, I'm a lil bit thicker, there's something to grab onto. However, at my best I am on the smaller side. If you know me at all you know that my weight goes up and down like crazy. I like DC because I get into a routine that does not include Nonna's twice a week, 10 boxes of cereal at my disposal in the cabinet, and late-night pizza. Here in DC, in my fridge you'll find only what I just listed so any "bad eating" I do, I have to purchase. Having to purchase "bad food" more often than not, stops me from doing it.

The skinny girl mentality is one that forces you to get up and work out. It makes me feel guilty if I don't. The skinny girl mentality is one that makes you aware of just about everything you eat. What's funny, however, is once I'm in this mentality, it is so nice to know that not every bite is going to send me over the edge. When I'm unhappy with my weight, I'm absolutely convinced that every drink, every taste, or every snack is going to "make me so fat." I think that my favorite part about the skinny girl mentality is that you understand that you can have some Mike & Ikes without it being the end of the world. I can have three BBQ wings and not cry over it. The skinny girl understand proportions. The skinny girl understands how to splurge on one meal without killing her whole day....or her whole week, as I used to do. The skinny girl buys a turkey sandwich with cheese (big splurge on the cheese), gummy bears, and a G2 Gatorade from 7-11 at 4am instead of Dominoes pizza and cheesy bread, as I used to do.

The skinny girl allows herself to have a "free day." My "free day" is Sunday. At that point, I've been working four days in a row of long hours, exhausted, on my way to being drunk, and conveniently it's the day I have the most cash to spend on "bad food." The skinny girl allows herself to have a "free day" because she knows that because she's got the skinny girl mentality that "free day" doesn't mean what it used to. It used to mean eat the most crap you can in multiple sittings. Now, the "free day" might mean having a slice of thin crust pizza a work, three BBQ wings, and splitting a turkey wrap and fries with Brittany at The Whale...of course while sipping a Stoli-O and water.

If you know me at all, you know I'm not doing this to brag or to make you feel badly about yourself if you haven't quite reached the skinny girl mentality but to remind myself that I can do it. I can keep it up. I never have a problem getting to a "happy place" when living in Washington, DC every fall, however, some alter-ego seems to take over as I enter the holiday / winter season. This post is a reminder to Sassarella to keep it the eff up! If it encourages you to do the same, well then mazel! My job is done.

Sassarella Says...