Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Someone Had to Say It....

"Where the heck have you been, Sassarella?!" Well I was home in the dirty Jerz but "flash like that, recognize I'm back!" Unlike T.I., I'm not back from jail but I'm back from a long and lazy vacation that I spent almost completely on the couch watching "Without A Trace" marathons.

I spent this past weekend celebrating my birthday and my return to my beloved DC bar scene. I would like to send out special thank yous to the girly girls who took me out to dinner and to The Sign of the Whale and Rhino crew members who made this one of the most absurd weekends....ever. Including an off-the-wall Sunday Funday!

So anyway, now that I'm back in town, I'm also starting to get back into my routine of reading blogs and news sites every morning. A big topic of discussion is the Golden Globe fashion, winners, and most notably Ricky Gervais. The Daily Beast has a headline that reads: "Ricky Gervais: Too Far or Too Frickin' Funny?"
Yes, the jokes made me laugh out loud and it was certainly one of the least boring openings to an award show that I've ever seen but I also found that my jaw dropped at several of his references.

If you know me well enough, or even just starting to get to know me through this blog, you would probably assume that I would tell everyone to get over it and take a joke. HOWEVER, Sassarella does have a heart and the issue that I have with his jokes is that they hit nerves. The joke about Charlie Sheen...yes, he's an immature butthead with addiction problems so whatever fine make fun of him but I'm guessing Denise Richards and her children didn't find it so amusing. It was like when something really awful happens to you and friend makes a joke out of it, you don't find it funny, and they end up asking "Ooooo too soon?"

The Tom Cruise reference was a low blow too. I happen to believe that there is good chance he is homosexual but that's his business (come on, Tom, just puhhlease tell us already!) Either way, he poked fun at insecurities and issues that those people probably already feel bad about. However, the "Sex & the City 2" joke was right on the money.

The joke about "The Tourist" was again, right on the money, but really? You're going to make fun of Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, and the producers of the movie who are all sitting right there.....you got some balls, Mr. Gervais. What do you think? Did he go to far? Or am I over-reacting?

Robert Downey Jr. had a problem with the jokes, calling them "mean spirited" but his speech was HILARIOUS. The actresses he had fun with needed to lighten up. Some of them looked downright in pain when he was clearly just playing around and not personally attacking them.
Julianne Moore and Annette Bening had fun with it, meanwhile, "Angie" and Emma Stone were slightly biotchy. Besides, I love RD Jr with a passion / he said "Just saying...." so of course I loved the speech. I also liked how he complimented them afterward, which wasn't appropriate for Gervais to do, so the biotches needed to loosen up!

The truth can hurt but someone had to say it..........or did he?

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Save the Drama for Your Mama

I have an announcement: I'm officially a mommy. New Year's Eve got a little out of control and ya know one thing leads to another and ut oh....


I got my first baby yesterday, a Louis Vuitton. I can't even tell you how long I have wanted one but I saved up some ca$h, got help from my family, and BOOM here he is :-) Of course the one I wanted was sold out at the LV store, but Neiman Marcus had ONE left! The women in the store were talking about "my first Louis" literally like it was my first child, silly but true. For something so simple, going to a store and buying a handbag, it generated a lot of thoughts yesterday...

1) I'm walking around the mall thinking, "Am I really going to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a handbag?" I was thinking about how many other things I could be buying or places I could be traveling to and yet, all I wanted was this bag.

2) Then my thoughts went to, "Well, I shouldn't feel so terrible about it." Why? Because this bag is sold out everywhere, including online, so apparently I'm not the only one who thinks it is worth the moolahh. Yes, it's insane, but at the same time it's not at all. I'll admit that I did have to call my mom and talk about it because "I just can't spend this much money and not tell someone about it."

3) Ok so the bag is bought and I send Lauren a picture of it nicely packaged up in the famous LV brown bag (with a bow, of course). She first responded "Congrats on your new baby!" and followed it up with "I better get to see little Louis tonight." Ever since then I can't help but personify the bag.

4) I got home from the mall, opened it up, and transferred my stuff from my old bag into Little Louis. All I could think about was how I wanted to take Little Louis everywhere! It was a surge of energy and since I've been so ridiculously lazy at home I feel like Louis is helping snap me out of it. I kept thinking of the scene in 13 Going on 30 when the little girl in the elevator admires Jennifer Garner's dress and JG responds, "that's cause I've got these incredible boobs to fill it out!" In my case, I keep thinking, "I wanna go here and here and do this and that" why? CAUSE I'VE GOT THIS INCREDIBLE BAG TO TAKE WITH ME!

Check out the 1:00 mark

Little Louis was 100% my motivation for going to the gym yesterday too - "Little Louis needs a skinny arm to rest on, obvs!" (Anything in quotes are things that I thought yesterday or even said out loud)....."Little Louis, this is the car and this is the passenger seat that you will spend a lot of time resting on" ... "Little Louis, this is the Lifetime gym, where I'll work on looking good for you" ... "Little Louis, meet Lauren's Louis" ... and finally, "Little Louis, no food or drinks for you at Nonna's tonight"

HAHAH. Yes, I'm a whack-a-doo, but the funniest part is that I'm not alone in this. Between the women at the store, Lauren, and even my mom we are all talking about this bag as if it really is my new baby.

As superficial as it is, it's still an exciting purchase. I genuinely feel like it's a motivator to get out there and do things in life because it's just not as fun walking around the house with it on my arm as it is out and about. It also represents a life out there that I want one day. I know I have to work hard and make something of myself since I want Little Louis to have a brother! As long as you keep your feet on the ground and your nose out of the air, I don't think there's anything wrong with a material purchase giving you happiness or motivation or whatever it is in your life that you need.

 Little Louis and I have some errands to run today so off we go!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Weekend Warrior: "Go Stags"

sea grape: A small tropical American tree growing on 
sandy beaches and having large, glossy, leathery, rounded leaves and 
hard purplish fruit arranged in grapelike cluster

Thursday Night: Two girls who haven't seen each other in foreva + one road trip to Fairfield + two 12 oz cans of Sugar Free Red Bull = one very intense best friends word vomit. Lauren and I are the type of friends who talk A LOT but this was on a whole new fabulous level. Well, maybe it wasn't new but the last time we that kind of quality time together was way back when in August. We had a lot of life to catch up on! Finally, we got to Lauren's house in time to change, finish up make-up and hair, and pop open the Goose. Lauren's style of drinking is quite unique - a shot of vodka, chased with Red Bull, and a bite size sour dough pretzel. Hey, when in Rome! I followed suit and I have to say, it was an interesting experience that I might bring back to Georgetown with me (You never feel full! It's wonderful).

Anyway, we trekked through the snow and ice to a few of her friends' houses before heading to the Sea Grape Cafe, or as everyone calls it "The Grape" (I think I asked what the heck a sea grape is 100 times). Lauren introduced me to people she doesn't even know, we danced, we wrote our names on the chalkboards, and I witnessed a sight that I will never forget. I told Lauren that some random girl gave Lauren's name on the chalkboard the middle finger. This girl happened to be dancing with a boy so Lauren turns to me and says, "Watch this...." (very seductively). She proceeds to dance up on this poor boy who was clearly very tempted by the booty-shaking Lauren Ann but knew what would happen if he gave in to her. Middle finger girl was not having it - and she gave him the look like "take another step towards that really hott girl and you ain't gettin' ANY tonight." It was fantastically absurd.

It's really different being out at another school although, true to form, I managed to meet the door guy (Jerry), two bartenders (Carlos and Kevin) and their cousin, Melanie! Since the bars close at 12:30ish everyone goes back to the house parties after the bar (weird, I know). This place is like summer camp. All the houses are in a fenced in community connected by pathways, they all have porches so you can see what's going on at the parties, everyone knows each other, and then there's the beach. Yup, camp for 20 somethings with better facilities and alcohol....pretty cool.

So Friday we spent all day on the couches of Lauren's living room, with the exception of an hour or so for dinner at Bertucci's with Maggie. I think times like this really show how great of friends two people can be. It's one thing to go out, dance, have some drinks, and think "wow, we really have a good time together" but it's another thing to literally be totally fine with sitting around, staring at each other, talking and laughing for HOURS. We people watched out her front window, read out loud 15 pages of damnyouautocorrect.com, and judged people on facebook (don't act like you don't do it). We got to talking about our friendship for a minute and then had to stop because Lauren teared up thinking about how we've been friends for 8 years (and that's why I love her).

This one was our favorite
"Ohh baguette" became the official saying of the trip,
considering we said it in response to everything

Finally, it was time to get off our butts and get ready for NYE. Maggie and Taylor came over for some Goose, Red Bull, and pretzels and of course a Michael Jackson sing-a-long before heading back to The Grape. The Grape kinda feels like you're in someone's garage that was made into a bar. The dart boards and lack of anything resembling an atmosphere make this an ultimate college/beach bar and it's completely perfect for what it is. I can't even imagine how much beer is spilled on the floors on a weekly basis because the entire crowd is Fairfield seniors. Except, this weekend, I knew more people than I ever expected to - Georgetown, Oak Knoll, St.E's and Delbarton were well represented as was my home town! It was awesome.

We left The Grape at around 10ish? to go to the packed beach houses. I can't stress enough how different life is at different colleges - we rarely ever go to house parties anymore at Georgetown because the bars are so available to us. Also, being on the beach is so bizarre. To countdown to midnight everyone went out on the beach: HAPPY 2011! It was very Gossip Girl-esque - picture a bunch of very well-dressed kids in high heels, bottles of champagne, on the beach, and a full moon to ring in the new year. Then all of a sudden ohhh baguettes your feet are covered in snow and sand and you've been drinking since 7:30pm. Definitely time for Uggs. I went back to Lauren's house for a shoe change and Lauren went back for a quick cat nap, gotta love her. And just in case you were wondering....the position for Christie's first kiss of 2011 has been filled :-) Who was it you ask? Get real, a lady never kisses and tells. The night ended well: Jacqui quoted my dad for while "So, you playin' ball?", I walked on the beach in January, and made new friends. 2011 is off to a good start!

Gossip Girl cast - Yup, it kinda looked like this, just add some sand!

Anyway, we made moves early on Saturday to head home to Jersey. Craving Nonna's Grandma pizza, we stalker called Andrew the entire way home only to find out Nonna's was closed - bummer. I think I also had a delayed hang over. I was fine all morning until the last 15 minutes of the car ride when I felt a little loopy. I got home, face planted on the couch to watch the PSU game (poor Joe Pa, I thought we had it!) and did not move all day and night.

I was unsure of what this NYE would be like because I've learned that it is one of the most over-rated nights of the year. Expectations are so high and the pressure to have "the best time ever" is great. However, I'm really glad I decided to go to FU with Lauren because I've really missed her and I genuinely had a great time. I also think that college seniors should be given an extra semester to visit friends at other schools. We get so used to doing things the same way at our own schools, and even though I don't think I could do the Fairfield routine every weekend, I'm glad I got to experience it.

I hope your NYE plans turned out as
successful as mine did and Happy 2011, everyone!