Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted" - John Lennon

On one hand, Tuesday is the dreaded full day of classes but on the other, it is the best day for online browsing. I frequently mention these alleged blogs and sites that I read all day long so I thought I'd share some of them to help all of you get through your Tuesday classes or work day.

 Side note: I need a job that absolutely REQUIRES me to sit
in coffee shops all over the world, listen to music, and write all day long.
Suggestions are welcomed and even encouraged.

First, set the mood with some background noise. What is wasting time without music? It's lame, that's what it is. I'm going on week numero dos of obsessive-ness with this site, We Are Hunted. You can either listen to the music they have posted as is or you can sign up, which I did, and create your own chart and only listen to the music you select from the site. I like it because I can go from Lykke Li to Lady Gaga and back to Matt & Kim. You can search music by genre and popularity but I like the "Emerging" category because Sassarella needs new music every .5 seconds.

Next get the ball rolling with Thought Catalog. These articles are easy to read, usually pretty short, and are brutally honest about some of the most ridiculous topics. Articles range from "How to Be Boring" to "New Startup Will Create and Manage Online Girlfriend for You" and everything in between. One of my favorites is "The Celebrated Misogny of Jersey Shore", obviously. I've also mentioned an article on a previous post about how to be a 20 something (See my post, "Yo Sass Pot, Prepare for the Best and the Fastest Ride").

AskMen.com is actually one of my favorite time-wasting sites to read. I particularly enjoy the articles under "Live Better" that range from topics like "how to make a threesome actually happen" to "what to do if she's insecure" to "you'll never believe how closely related fantasy football is to the dating world". They are absolutely hilarious and 150% entertaining for women to read. For the most part, I'd make the general statement that if guys read this crap and actually follow it word for word, you're going to end up an alone a$shole but I guess some of it is on point. Either way, it's always interesting to read about situations from the opposite perspective and when I think about it, the information in women's magazines are just as ridiculous. With that being said, carry on, AskMen.com

So do you feel like you're getting dumber by the minute? This is when I head over to Newser. I'm a visual learner and this site is set up so that I can pick which articles I want to read based on how attracted I am to the picture. (Yes, I'm a five year old). It is real, up-to-date, and pertinent news but put in a simpler, and in my opinion, more interesting format than CNN or MSMBC.

In the event that you don't want to think at all and just want to look at some pictures that aren't of last Friday night's drunken debacle, check these out.
1) Candy Chang : She is an insanely creative artist and designer who "likes to make cities more comfortable for people". Two of my favorite projects are "Before I Die" (Coolest thing ever, just sayin') and "Sidewalk Psychiatry".
2) Gindy's Pics : A freakin' fantastic example of why I need an iPhone. This is a friend's personal tumblr of photographs taken on his iPhone. Click on any of the thumbnails for the full version, in fact, start with the first one and look through all of them...you won't be disappointed.

Or you can check out spring 2011 fashion trends in an interview with my brother, Mathew. You are da bomb diggity and I'm so proud to call you my brotha from anotha motha, literally.

And if all else fails you can join me in my latest addiction, stumbleupon.com. This is a college student's best friend and worst enemy. If you don't know already, you sign up, select general topics that interest you and start stumbling! The site generates an endless collection of websites related to your interests. WARNING: If you have an addictive personality, DO NOT sign up for this site unless you don't plan on doing ANYTHING REMOTELY productive EVER AGAIN. I had to give myself a time limit a few days ago, "Whatever site you stumble upon at 1am is the LAST one and then you MUST sign off!" ... it didn't work but it was worth a shot. If you do sign up and get the toolbar, go to my blog homepage and "Like It" so others can start "stumbling upon" my page (you'll know what I mean if you do it). 

Of course there is a laundry list of other sites bookmarked on my computer but an artist knows better than to reveal all areas of her inspiration. Although, in my life, the buttheads seem to be constantly inspiring me to write fun-filled, heart-felt blog posts about how utterly ridiculous you all are :-) 

Alright, good talk, I'll see ya out there.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Weekend Warrior: Keep Walking

Who wants to have some fun?

After all of this moving on business, I was in serious need of some fun. The Johnnie Walker taste testing event was uhh-may-zing. Meghan and I got to the auditorium and signed in to the event via one of the fifteen iPads set up on podiums. Too cool. LBD wearing girls handed out gold coins to exchange for a free drink during the reception and we were on our way.

My knowledge of whiskey is quite limited and by limited I mean Oscar started pouring Jameson awhile back and I got hooked. I also know that my mother loves scotch and that Johnnie Walker Blue Label is something serious. Other than that, I was pretty clueless until Friday night. Meghan and I walked in and saw that everyone was online at the bar and I asked her what she was going to get. We both realized that we had no clue how to order scotch and had no clue which label we wanted.

Me: "Can I phone a friend? I want to call my mom and ask her what to do."
Meghan: "Uhhhh vodka soda please?"
Me: "What do you think that the bar tender would say if I walked up and asked for a white wine spritzer?"

Luckily a waitress approached us before we got to the bar and I pulled a LuAnn.  Whenever my mother is in a new environment or at an event she has to "get the lay of the land" and figure out what's going on. I asked the waitress to shoot it to me straight about what to do and how to do it. She explained that there is a presentation where we would get to taste the Black, Red, Gold, and Blue labels but for now they are just serving Black and Red. So, we each got a Black Label on ze rocks. Mmmhmm that's nice stuff.

Taking a look around at the crowd of mostly tall, dark, and handsome men, I was immediately regretting my decision to not, at any cost, give my number out that night. I told Meghan in the cab that on the chance that a gentleman should attempt conversation that I could talk, be friendly, and have fun but that I am taking a break and giving my number out goes against taking a break. Here's the thing though - these were not just tall, dark, and handsome men but also men with high quality taste. Let's be serious, these are men at a by invitation only Johnnie Walker tasting event, not at a kegger.

Bless Meghan's soul for she actually listens and remembers most of the rambling crap that comes out of my mouth. In discussing this dilemma with her, she fires back, "Ok, so you're allowed to give your number out but only if he has a pee pee." It took me a hot second to comprehend what she meant but then I got it and could not stop laughing. The women of The Real Housewives of NYC refer to a Private Plane as a "PP". I obviously added that he not only had to have a "PP" but that it had better be a "Big PP". Yeah, I went there, get over it. We were giggling little school girls, it was amazing.

Finally it was time for the actual presentation to start. It was very interesting to learn about how the Johnnie Walker brand started, how the whiskey is blended, and how even adding a small ice cube can change the taste. The Blue Label was my favorite, obviously, but a close second was the Black Label. By itself I wasn't a big fan of the Red Label but after adding some ginger ale it was wonderful. However, me and Johnnie Walker Gold did not get along at all. I definitely made the "feh!" face.

I waited around for the guy who lead the presentation, the Johnnie Walker ambassador to the US, to ask him if they do the presentation in NYC because I knew my mom would love it. He spoke to Meghan and me for a few minutes, pulled out his business card, and told me to email him so he could get my family right in for the New York event. Love him. And in standard Sassarella form, I casually took a glance at that left ring finger....too bad there was a nice gold band wrapped around it. (I'm a joke, I know).

Meghan and I went from fancy shmancy ladies to '80s Night at The Whale. It was a great night and just what we both needed. With a little help from Trey, Oscar, Misty, this hot blonde chick I know, and the happy hour hero, we had a genuinely fun-filled time. The fun continued to Rhino with Jackie and Jordan where I gave the Rhino crew more reasons to make fun of me, my accent, and my absurdity.

Yes, I decorated my own '80s style cup.
Yes, I asked for any refills to be made in this cup.
And yes, Trey and Oscar humored me by doing so.

Saturday started in the library but I gave up on that rather quickly and decided to go to Surfside in Glover Park with Allie, Kevo, and Pete. I had heard of this place but had never been able to try it out. If you've been to Jetties, it is its Caribbean counterpart and owned by the same people. You feel like you're at a beach bar in the summer. The burritos, quesadillas, and even the salads were all really good. It is definitely on the expensive side, but what isn't expensive in this area? Allie and I want to go back when it gets warmer since they have a rooftop bar that would be perfect for a summer night.

Saturday night Meg, Allie, and I went to Paolo's for a drink before heading to Rhino. I like when we have a drink or two at a nicer place before we get crazy. We people-watched the plaid-filled room of young professionals and their belligerent girlfriends stumbling over each other in Lacoste polos and Marc Jacob dresses. As I sipped my Patron XO, aka heaven on ice, I kept thinking how this is going to be us in a few years. You could tell they were a few years into the working world by their material items and high tabs at the bar but were still young enough to want to relive those college days of getting stupidly drunk and silly with your friends. Time flies and soon we're going to be those people. Crazy.

Rhino was actually a really good time as well. I've been so hell-bent on avoiding it every weekend because I've spent so much time there but it was nice to feel at home again. I'm certain that there are some members of the "Rhino Family" that think I'm crazy for being so obsessed with it but when I can walk upstairs after-hours and hear my name being called by the people sitting up there counting money, it's a great feeling. I've always said that I can count my friends on one hand and I'd absolutely count "Rhino" as one of those people. We goof off and gossip but there is no way I would have survived the last four years without the people that occupy that place. It's always a good time and as much as we joke around, they always take care of me and make sure I am safe. For the most part, they don't even realize the impact they have each had on my life and who knows if they'll remember me when I'm gone but I'll never forget them or the time I've spent there.

And now it's "Sunday No More Funday" and I'm feeling like Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap: "I'm in so over my head here. I can't handle this alone. I can't. I'm only one kid." This is what I call my mom and say when I'm feeling work-related anxiety. Today, however, it was Meghan that nailed it on the head by quoting me in a text message she sent in response to my stress..."things always seem to work out, remember that" ... and in the words of Johnnie Walker, ya just gotta "keep walking"

Friday, March 25, 2011

Thirsty Thursday: I am woman! I am invincible! I am pooped!

I wasn't planning on a new post today until I found this.
(On the Internet, not in my pocket, I promise).

Like it's that easy, right?

Luckily, I have good people and good things in my life that make it a little bit easier than it might be for a lot of others. You can probably guess what the picture is in reference to so I'm not even going to embarrass myself by typing it out. If you don't, please see "Weekend Warrior: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose".

So number 1 on the to do list says to "move on." I think to really move on, you have to know what it is exactly that you're moving on from. It's a waste of time to think you're moving on from a situation that you never really understood your commitment to in the first place. Before I can move on from anything, I have to figure out what are the parts of the relationship or the environment that are no longer working for me. 

Today, I'm not just moving on from one guy in particular, I'm moving on from the lot of ya (for a hot second, at least). I wish you could hear the voice in my head that just said that because it's very calm and content, not at all man-hating and feisty. I've been through an entire line-up of batters, nine guys to be exact (geez ok, so it's like 5% man-hating and feisty but 95% calm and content) and it's time to move on for a little bit.

Analysis: A) I am moving on from the exhaustion that comes with putting yourself out there and meeting someone new. Do you know how many times I've showered, blow dried my hair, put on make-up, and dressed up for these dates? Sweet lord, that's enough to make ya move on in itself! B) I'm moving on from the disappointment of nine unsuccessful attempts at mutually connecting with someone. Don't get me wrong, I learned something about myself and what I seek in a partner through all of these attempts and I have no regrets (yup, I learned that last week - Go me, I'm a "have no regrets" kinda chick!) but a break is in order. And C) I'm moving on from the overwhelming feeling that this "man hunt" has taken over my life. I am a second semester senior with a thesis to write, a summer to plan, vodka to drink, and a few weeks left to enjoy beer pong with my friends, running in Georgetown, and a city that has loved on me for four fantastic years.

Number 2 on that to do list says to "laugh". Yeah, like that's hard for me to do. All Sammy has to do is look at me and we crack up. Fortunately, I got started with the laughing part last night. Any night spent at Rhino with Brittany, Oscar, and JC can change my entire mood. I swear, I don't know what it is about that place but I can walk in there in the worst mood and within minutes I'm a changed woman.

I've been thinking that I want to get back to the place I was in during the fall and that place would be ri-goddamn-diculously happy (Refer back to the post, "Weekend Warrior: We are not normal"). That starts today and last night was a great way to kick it off. I haven't worked all together with that crew since the fall so the rare opportunity was warmly welcomed. How about next year when I'm having a bad day, I'll fly, drive, or run over to Rhino, work a shift with those 3 characters, and then go back to real life? Perfect.

Number 3 on the list says to "repeat #2" which I am on my way to doing. I have a wonderful Friday night planned with my Meghan. We are having a caf date for dinner and then going home to get ready for a Johnnie Walker private taste testing event at the Andrew W. Mellon Auditorium, called The House of Walker Experience. I have no idea what to expect, all I know is that I'll be with Meghan (who has been annoyingly busy with school work recently, so a catch up session is in serious order), there will be Johnnie Walker, and we'll be all kinds of classy at the venue.

I'm going to add a few other things to the to do list today:

4) Keep listening to "Young Blood" by The Naked and Famous

5) Make my own  "Barbara Streisand Song". Ya know the techno song?
Try it out, it's fun.

6. Watch THIS.

7. Repeat #6

and finally for #8, I wish to satisfy the 5% of me
that is man-hating and feisty by sending a message out to
all you butt head dudes who have done me wrong:

"The best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives
people crazier than seeing someone have a good effing life"
- Chuck Palahniuk

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

DJ CFabb: "To those about to rock, I salute you" - Dewey Finn

 "I don't need to be famous and I don't need all the money in the world, it's not about that. It's about the girl who's having a horrible day and she hears your song and for 5 minutes, there's hope. It's like for 5 minutes the world isn't such a scary place for her. You asked if that's going to be enough, that'll be more than enough." - Mia from One Tree Hill on her music career

This post is a product of yet another late night downloading binge. 
I've compiled a list of what's on repeat for me these days.

"Better Than Love" by Griffin House

Also by Griffin House: "The Guy Who Said Goodbye to You is Out of His Mind"

"You're My World" by The DNC ft. Gigi

"Winter" by Joshua Radin

"A Little Bit Stronger" by Leighton Meester

"G.O.A.T" by Eminem

"Squealing Pig" by Admiral Fallow

Two covers of "Heartbeats" by The Knife
 "Heartbeats" by Ellie Goulding

"Heartbeats" by Jose Gonzalez

"Free Fallin'" by The Almost (Tom Petty Cover)

If a song is blog worthy, then I assure you it's download worthy.
Good day I say to you.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" - our 43rd President, George W. Bush

The other night I was pacing between my room and Allie's room where she and Maggie were doing homework watching YouTube videos and chatting on Facebook. I finally decided to go to bed because I had literally exhausted every option of things to look at online. I had read all of my blogs, watched some YouTube clips, and checked Facebook so excessively that there was not one single "Most Recent" update on my homepage that I hadn't just looked at thirty seconds before. Never mind all of the work that I had to do because it is safe to say that I have a strong case of senioritis complicated by severe procrastination syndrome.

Without YouTube, young people would be getting stuff done left and right but nope, we get sucked into watching hours of funny videos about talking cats and Dane Cook skits. One video that I was actually shown in class but proceeded to watch at home and then again with all of my roommates was one about politics. GASP! Not real politics but a mockery of politics. Phew! I am no politician...we know this already. I don't ever want to debate about politics or ever get into a conversation lasting more than 10 minutes about a particular issue. (Just sayin', so don't even try). However, when something strikes me, I want to share it with you. I once posted a clip of my man Bill Clinton explaining in terms that even Sassarella could comprehend what is going on in the economy. This video I'm about to share is one that pokes fun at the war in Iraq and Iran. It is from 2007 but is still pretty interesting to watch. I'm not usually a Mad TV fan, I'm more of an SNL girl, but when they get it right, they get it right. I'll let the video speak for itself.

"I will help the process along by throwing the rest of our $ at the iRack"

What's funny about me is that when Coach Exxon briefly brought up politics, I could easily answer those questions but my favorite color...now that's a tough one! It seems to be a consensus around here that Tuesday is the worst day of the week, and if you factor in the game of brick throwing the construction workers are playing outside our house in our living room, I'd have to agree. Let me and the iRan help a little bit. Peace, biddies.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Weekend Warrior: "Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose" - F.N.L.

Saturday night was a date night with the previously mentioned "new gentleman caller". I'm choosing to avoid nicknaming him according to the roster, in which he would be number 9, because I want to separate him from the pack. Here's my logic, maybe if I don't loop him in with the rest of the motley crew, it will give us (too soon?) a better shot at making it past date 2, which I hope will happen! So I'm taking him out of the line-up and pulling the plug on this man baseball game I've been playing in but ironically enough, he's a baseball coach.

The date with "Coach Exxon", as I will be calling him, started on a interesting note. Tap tap tap: "Hello sir, I'm with traffic control at this metro station and now tell me, sir, can you read that sign for me? See what that says? It says 'No Stopping at Anytime' doesn't it? Yes, so do me a favor...next time you're picking up your loved one (pointing at me), can you park over there, over there, over there, or even over there? See where I'm talking about? Please don't pick up your loved one (pointing at me again) in the bus lane next time."  ... Well, hi, good thing I'm a "loved one".

We went to eat at The Cheesecake Factory, yeah we did, be jealous. Mmmm I love dates. Drinks first, then dinner, and finishing up with a white chocolate and blueberry piece of cheesecake. I like Coach Exxon. Everything was going great and he was asking a ton of questions, really trying to get to know me. After a few heavy hitters, he thought he'd lighten the mood up by asking me what my favorite color is. [Insert movie quote now] "Milk was a bad choice". I hate that question. I don't have a favorite color. There is no one color that jumps out to me as the BEST and if I were to gauge it by my clothing, accessories, or car...my favorite color would be black. Now isn't that depressing? This led to a debate and a long explanation of why I hate that question. Coach Exxon is the type of person who actually has a favorite song, a favorite movie, and a favorite color (forest green, like really?) He can definitively answer these questions but I, on the other hand, cannot. If one were to ask me what my favorite type of music is, I have a detailed explanation about how I like a lot of different kinds of music and it depends on my mood. There is no way I could ever pick an absolute favorite song either, that's just wrong.

Angie: I'm gonna make a decision. (Pause) 
Decision made. (Pause) Kate, I want you to put your baby inside me.
 This is how I need to start making decisions like my favorite freakin' color.

Throughout the night, whether it was about dessert, colors, religion, almost anything that he asked me, I was rarely able to give one concrete answer. I am quite possibly one of the most indecisive people in the entire universe. Yes, I asked everyone and their mother in every galaxy of the universe and concluded that I am highly indecisive. One of these days I'm going to call a meeting of fellow indecisive over-analyzers over a pitcher of margaritas and I'm going to force us all to pick a favorite color, even if it takes 10 hours! An indecisive person can be seen as weak or a pushover but luckily I know myself well enough to know that when a situation is very important to me, I can make the decision pretty quickly. Actually, being an "everything happens for a reason" kinda person, I find that the answers to the significant questions have already been answered for me and I just have to be aware of the clues.

I hope you all don't take this the wrong way but I've had a little saying since middle school when the bigger life decisions starting popping up and it is, "things just seem to work out for me". The reason I can think that way without feeling like an a$shole is because I know that while I leave a lot up to fate, I do work my butt off. For example, in middle school I never expected to get into Oak Knoll. I had a tutor for that silly SSAT test and I worked hard in school but when that acceptance letter came I really couldn't help but be absolutely shocked. The same goes for Georgetown and for tough jobs and internship positions that I've applied for. I've come to learn that my phrase is what keeps me sane in situations that I have little control over but it's also what I believe makes those things (OKS, GU, etc) happen for me. If you expect good things for yourself, then good things will happen. It's like in sports when you're shooting a basketball, now go ahead and hear your coach's voice in your ear, "if you think you're going to miss that free throw then you're most likely going to miss it". It's all that "think positively, it ain't over til it's over" stuff the movies and our moms repeat for us over and over.

Anywho, back to Coach Exxon. I feel very comfortable with him and never once felt like the whack-a-doo that I was when with Magic 8 Ball. What's the word I'm looking for here? Is it his demeanor? Some people just have a way of being relaxed and welcoming. Thankfully, he was also able to playfully call me out on some of my shizz too. For example, he poked fun at how I say, "meebawls" when trying to say "meatballs" and repeatedly brought up the whole color fiasco.

[Side note before I go all deep on ya'll again]: Mom-mom & Pop-pop, I just want you to know that you seem to come up on almost every date that I go on. This time, "Geener", it was about your accent. Last time it was about playing Pretty Pretty Princess for hours and the time before that it was about painting the walls in the laundry room. Basically, I love you and you have had an intense impact on my life. [Side note over].

Mmkay, so anyway, as the date continued we started asking some interesting questions. I had asked him to pick a day in his life that he would want to do over and over again. I wanted to find out what makes him really happy, blah blah. He told me something about baseball and then asked me about a day in my life that I would want to go back and do differently. Ugh, I really had a hard time with this one. Am I not so weird? I mean, really, I'm so strange. Of course there are little things here and there that I would go back and do differently but even when I know I've really screwed up, I've also learned something. Ok so change "weird" to the "next author of one of those damn Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul books", which I actually can't stand to read.

I can think of a few times when I've really messed up, done something wrong or hurtful, but then I can immediately also think of why in the long run it either taught me a lesson, ended up working out for the better, or made a relationship stronger. Is this weird? I've never thought of myself as a self-proclaimed "have no regrets" type of person but maybe I am. Damn, Coach Exxon, you're really making me think over here. It's pretty cool though because as much as I'm thinking about all of this now, I was able to freely hash all of this with him Saturday night because it felt like I've known him for years. That demeanor, let me tell ya, he's a good listener but also equally contributed his own thoughts and opinions. I never felt like I was dominating the conversation, which is a very good thing.

With every date I'm continuing to learn about myself. Ahh, we 20 somethings, it's always something new every g.d. day. Yes, yes how exciting but it's a miracle you don't see 20 somethings dropping like flies in the middle of the street from exhaustion.

So on a final note about Coach Exxon, I could really relate and appreciate his open book-ness. What did I just say about myself in a recent post...wasn't it that I tend to word vomit, express just about everything I'm thinking and feeling, and how it irritates the cooh-cah outta me when I'm seeing someone who doesn't do the same? Why yes, I think that's exactly what a recent post was about. Coach Exxon uttered three little words that meant a lot to me, and would mean a lot to most girls. It was a simple, "I like you", mid kiss of course (oww oww). Look, I know that is hard for some to say, even harder for some to hear, but for me, it was just what I wanted to hear. I like to know where I stand because we've already established (and beat to friggen death) that I will keep ya posted on where you stand with me. I think Friday Night Lights sums up my life pretty well, "clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose". Ta ta for now!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Weekend Warrior: So what if I'm an impatient fool? Deal with it.

Patience is a virtue, however, I can honestly admit that I seriously lack any type of patience. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say that I'm an obnoxiously impatient person. I have my theories as to why this is, one being that everyone has to have a flaw here or there and another having to do with growing up in a technology driven generation fixated on instant gratification. Either way, it is what it is.

Thirsty Thursday: I traveled up to Fairfield, CT to pay a visit to my dearest Lauren Ann at school. First strike of impatience: Lauren and I wasted no time and engaged in Lauren's typical style of drinking. It involves sitting it down at the kitchen table, turning the techno beats on, yelling at her "Hot Tamale" roommates to get ready faster, and taking shots of vodka chased by Red Bull and a pretzel. Why waste time sipping mixed drinks or wine when you can change the song and take another shot? Seems logical. We went to a house party, danced on the coffee table (as per usual), and later made moves to The Grape. We were, and I kid you not, the only two people on the dance floor. I can't even say that we toned things down because of it (we're very passionate dancers). Then BOOM impatience, "why hasn't the DJ played 'Dirty Talk' yet?!" Lauren walked over to the dj booth, yelled in his ear, danced her way back over to me, and within seconds I heard the opening notes to Wynter Gordon's "Dirty Talk". Like I said, a generation built on instant gratification. By the way, yayay to seeing OKS girls, who obvi joined us on the dance floor in true Holy Child form!

Friday: First let me just say that in complete opposition to instant gratification, by way of public transportation, it took me almost 4 hours to get home to NJ from CT. Outrageous. Although, I'll take any excuse to pay Grand Central a visit. I don't know what it is about the energy in there but it's very posh, very fast, and an all-around dream boat compared to Penn Station. Anyway, throughout the day I got to thinking about Magic 8 Ball. He doesn't text all that much, which is fine, however in the last few days the communication between us was extremely limited. We spoke on the phone Tuesday afternoon for awhile but I had not heard from him since. On Friday, our texting conversation was lame, in fact, I'm not even going to call it a conversation, but rather I'll call it my attempt at having some interaction. Hours would go by in between short, uninvolved text messages. Again, BOOM, impatience. Is this really what I want right now?

In the last few days since then, I've assessed the situation based on an insecure feeling that I've had from our first date. For some reason, I've never been able to trust that I'll hear from him or that I'd see him again, hence the "Magic 8 Ball" nickname, it was all very uncertain. So, whenever I did hear from him or see him, I would say to myself, "See, you just have to relax, this is going the way you want it to". Now, to be fair, I still don't really know whether or not things will pick up where we left off when I get back to DC but the nagging voice in my head is saying that picking up where we left off is not going to be the case. What's funny is that as much as I enjoy spending time with him, and could potentially spend more time with, I'm caring less and less that we don't seem to be on the same page. M8B is clearly happy to keep things very casual, light, and slow. Maybe he's giving me space while I'm on my spring break? Doubtful. But here's the thing, I don't want to be given my space. At this point, I want that sense of urgency from a guy. He shouldn't want to go days without talking, even if it's just to see how my day is going. Whether it's true or not, it's making me feel like M8B isn't thinking about me and frankly, I don't care for that feeling very much at all.

I've rushed into relationships before and that never works out but like I said, I'm impatient. I don't want to wait days to talk to him or hours to receive a responding text message. We never leave each other with a plan, it's always "I'll see ya when I see ya" or "I'll talk to ya when I talk to ya" and I tried to go along with it. Why? Well because despite these vague sayings, he always ended up calling, but this is not my style. I'm a reasonable person and I agree that this behavior is appropriate at first, but I felt like we had moved past that. Regardless, I'm impatient and I'm always the person who has a "plan", even if it's just a list of things to do for the next two hours.

Back to Friday's events: I went to The Godfather for dinner with my parents and it was amazing as usual. I got all my New Jersey tastes including Sopranos red wine, escarole, and risotto. I also spoke with a new gentleman caller that evening (I'm a regular Tennessee Williams in the making over here), and got a new perspective. Maybe I owe it to myself to back off from M8B and explore my options. I should see what happens if I just put some eggs in his basket, as opposed to tossing them all in there! Sometimes I think I should take a break from dating altogether but then BOOM impatience hits and I want that intimacy. Besides, the butterfly feeling of meeting someone new is too much fun to resist.

Saturday: I spent most of the day getting detoured ALL OVER New Jersey because Route 46 was underwater, literally underwater. I was trying to go to the Willowbrook Mall, only to find out that the entire parking lot was under water and the mall was closed for the weekend. Normal Route 46 traffic on a Saturday is bad but add annoying detours and streams of water all over the place is an impatient person's nightmare.

Sunday: I've been sitting here at Starbucks doing homework and writing this post. I'm texting with the new gentleman caller, who I'm not going to give a nickname because I haven't decided if he's even going to need one yet. It's pretty funny because he's usually very quick in responding to messages, but of course, as soon as I ask him one of those questions that could make things awkward with someone you don't know very well, he takes FOREVER to respond. I need some patience, for the love of God, patience. I have to talk myself down from sending another message and even gave myself a time limit. "Alright, if he doesn't answer by 5pm, you can text him again to clarify the question but for now, just wait!" Luckily, he responded before 5pm and was cool with the question. I'm laughing at myself right now because I feel like George Costanza, "SERENITY NOW!!!" Ya crazy, biotch! Hey, at least I can acknowledge my insanity.

I have my iTunes on random shuffle as I'm sitting here writing and Vanessa Carlton's, "Fools Like Me", is speaking to me. One way of looking at my situation, not just with Magic 8 Ball, but with other guys and in other areas of life is that I'm a fool. Giiiirl, whatchu talkin' bout? I mean fool in a positive way....I'm a dreamer, I jump in, I rarely hold anything back and when I do I'm completely uncomfortable. So what if I want some urgency? So what if I'm impatient? Is that so terrible? I sometimes tell myself that I should attempt being more closed off and mysterious, at least in the beginning of a relationship, but why should I? It's just not me to be that way but I'll let Vanessa explain:

"Beware the danger it lurks for those who get swept away,
the dreamers get punished most by the truth...

Now I recall that time at the cafe,
Thunderstorm outside
Words you could never say,
They hold the loudest tones
You say you'll write but it's just ink on a page...

Fools like me
Oh we never see
Cause the cracks don't count,
it's gotta break in front of me
And it's breakin'
It's gotta break for me to see

At least I can say I was not afraid
I loved you all the way
I'd pick the fool any day"

If I had to choose between being a "fool" who allows herself to feel real emotions and to get swept off her feet, only to be burned and have to start all over again versus someone who is a scared, closed off, and willing to keep everyone at arm's length...well, no doubt, I'd pick the fool. I'm always going to be upfront about how I feel, what I feel, and why I'm feeling that way. I expect the same from the one I'm with - "words you couldn't say" - not gonna fly with me. So I'm a fool for still wanting to see what happens, to give a man the benefit of the doubt in most situations - "the cracks don't count, it's gotta break in front of me" - I see the positive so if something is over, it's gotta shatter for me to believe and accept it. So what if that makes me a fool? But most of all, "at least I can say I was not afraid", and I always give it everything I've got. We "fools" might get a few more bumps and bruises along the way but I am 100% confident that the bruises ensure that I will find true comfort in only the best and most meaningful relationships. So, "Suck on THAT! Ay yi yi yi yi yi!" ~ Janis Ian

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Weekend Warrior: "What if he can't open the pickle jar?!" LM

Friday: Too hung over and tired to move. A Thursday night out with my whiskey girl, aka Jackie, at McFadden's was enough to keep me immobile Friday. I spent the evening having dinner with Meghan at The Tombs and watching Friends.

Saturday: The initial plan was for me to take the Amtrak home in the afternoon, Lauren to pick me up, and then go straight to Hoboken St. Patrick's Day. HoBOken St. Patrick's Day was one of my favorite days of all time last year but I woke up so exhausted and knew it would be a struggle to get myself there. I was majorly relying on Lauren for the motivation. HOWEVER, Lauren texted me while I was still on the Amtrak train to talk about which train we would then get on to take to Hoboken. The trains were at weird times and showing that they would take 110 minutes, which is absurd, considering we could friggen get to NYC and back in that amount of time. Lauren threw out the idea to skip it, to which I responded: "You, me, dinner, wine, and Sona?" And this is why I adore Lauren: "Love love love love". Done and done, we're always on the same page. Excitement! I could not wait to spend time with the Laur Laur!

So she picked me up and on the way to Sushi Lounge we heard a car honking at us. We turned to our right to find two, 16 year old-ish looking guys, giving us the nod, "Hey, where are you going tonight, ladies?" I was laughing too much but Lauren rolls down her window, and in her flirty voice goes, "Dinner and Sona". I mean, obviously. I wish you could hear her say it, "dinner and Sona (duh, btw aren't we cute?)" It was perfect and so accurately captured our ability to think everything we do is funny. "Do you think other people find our quirky shit funny?" .. absolutely not.

 "Found the pickle jar, now we just need someone to open it!"

Dinner was soooooo good. Only in New Jersey can you go to a Sushi restaurant where a live DJ is playing the BEST house music (not better than Best DJ Ever but pretty good). Neither of us said it, but it was that feeling of knowing that this is just what we do, this is how we live, and some might find it obnoxious but it's partly why Lauren and I are friends. We can do the slightly superficial, a little expensive, and outrageous lifestyle thing but know that at the core of us, we have a solid friendship built on so much more than all of that.

Examples of dinner conversation:

"Yeah, I just scream and yell until he, ya know, and then I act like I did too."
You mean like, "Wow, omg, that took a lot out of me...get me a sandwich?"
"YES, exactly like that!" (You'll never know who said what, suckas).

"Wait, I didn't tell you about the time I..." (you wish you knew what, don't ya?)
"No!!! You failed to mention that!!"
"Yeah, we even talked about it and I denied denied denied"
"Right, because, WHO DOES THAT?! No one ever really does that, except maybe dirty pirate hookers"

"It's just so weird how things have changed in the last year, even in the last few months. I don't understand how for so long it was expected that he would come out with us whenever we were home and now, we didn't even ask him to come."
"I know, it felt weird not telling him we were going to Sona. Maybe if we understood what the heck happened and why he's chosen to completely block us out then we could figure out what to do about it. The ball is in his court."
"Exactly. I miss the fun times. I even threw out a peace offering on Facebook by commenting on a picture of us and he hasn't even said a word about it."
"Who knows, he could apologize and talk it out with us so maybe we could go back to having fun and going out but I don't know if it will ever be the same."
"It's so sad, I don't know if we'll be able to 'Run This Town' like we used to."

[This portion is clearly trying to knock some sense into a very good friend of ours who is being a butthead. Disregard if you are not him.]

Anyway, we left Sushi Lounge and the great DJ to go to Sona for drinks. "Anyone for a jelly bean?" Lauren asked me while rummaging through her Louis looking for a bronzer brush but found a jelly bean instead. My goodness the organizational damage I could do to her poor Louis bag. She told me how she once found an open diet coke in there, "My shit was swimming in it!" We were dying. God, how I miss this girl. I always know I miss her but it's moments like this when I really remember why I adore her. "I have nice shit, I really do, it's just always EVERYWHERE."

Once at Sona, we found our bartender love, Rocky, and ordered some drinks. The scene was low key still because it was earlier than our usual arrival time. We're not used to being at Sona just the two of us because normally we're at least there with the previously mentioned butthead friend. His usual inclusion solidifies that no one will approach us because they spend too much time trying to figure out the two girls and one guy trio, "Who's with who? Is he gay? Are they both with him? Wait....what's going on?" They get confused and move on. However, even without butthead friend there, guys still had trouble approaching us. We actually overheard and had that "ya know when you can just tell people are talking about you" thing MULTIPLE times. Guys stood there talking about how they wanted to talk to us instead of ACTUALLY doing it....for the most part. For the love of God, man up!

I always thought that maybe it was a vibe that I give off in NJ that explains why I get hit on less in NJ as opposed to in DC....obviously, in the least conceited way possible. In DC, I have a different level of confidence than I do in New Jersey but if I'm honest with myself, I can feel that changing. I am no longer feeling like the less pretty friend or intimidated by the girls dressed in clothes even skimpier than mine or anything ridiculous like that. Yes, sometimes I think I give off the, "I'm having way too much fun with my friends so don't even waste your time bothering me" vibe in NJ but last night, we were just two completely approachable girls sipping vodka sodas. Then it hit me....maybe it's not me, it's THEM! Are guys who don't live in cities inherently more immature? Maybe the city guys tend to be a bit older and independent so they have less insecurities about approaching women in bars..? I have a feeling I'm going to get some crap from my Jersey boys but ya'll are doing it to yourselves so I don't want to hear it.

Two precious guys finally approached us and to break the ice admitted to us, "We've been talking about coming over here for ten minutes...what are your names?" We made small talk, knowing they weren't really our type and that was confirmed when the taller one asked the shorter one to show us his dance moves. His dance moves had names like "The Crossing Guard" and "The Garbage Man" (is anyone else getting visions of Kevin James in "Hitch"?) Anyway, I give them credit for having the balls to talk to us but really? Come on, really?

We also stumbled upon the guys from the car. "Ohh..uhh..ohh..oh are you the Beamer girls?" Like you didn't recognize us and spend 15 minutes watching from afar, waiting for the right time to approach. Right. After them, a few others made their attempts and offered to buy us drinks. Some cute, some not so cute, but at this point we were ready to call it a night.

Moral of the story: Jackie is my whiskey girl, Lauren is the love of my life and any man would be lucky to come in second, Butthead friend needs to get over whatever his problem is because we miss him, New Jersey guys need to grow a pair, and someone needs to teach one New Jersey guy in particular some new dance moves.

So, for the next week I'll be LOVING the "NJ accent, greased hair, gold chains, Jersey shore (not the tv show), A.C., Newark, landfills, Newark Airport, Jersey Shore (the tv show), and the NJTP" ~ Magic 8 Ball.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Yo Sass Pot, "prepare for the best and the fastest ride" ~A & A

This just in: I've discovered yet another blog to read instead of doing homework and it's called "The Rumpus".  It's a weird collaboration of articles and facts but the column that grabbed me is called "Dear Sugar".  Sugar's age and identity is kept a mystery but she seems to be a woman in her 30s or 40s who has a wealth of advice to offer her readers. I don't typically enjoy "advice columns" in the format of written in questions, answered by an "expert", but she and I tend to agree on a lot of issues. She also has quite the sassy, no BS mentality, which I particularly relate to. Anyway, a recent advice column called "Tiny Beautiful Things" is a long list of "things" that Sugar would want to tell the 20 something version of herself now that she is older and wiser.

Here are a few:

"You are not a terrible person for wanting to break up with someone you love. You don't need a reason to leave. Wanting to leave is enough. Leaving doesn't mean you're incapable of real love or that you'll never love anyone else again. It doesn't mean you're morally bankrupt or psychologically demented or a nymphomaniac. It means you wish to change the terms of one particular relationship. That's all. Be brave enough to break your own heart."

"One evening you will be rolling around on the wooden floor of your apartment with a man who will tell you he doesn't have a condom. You will smile in this spunky way that you think is hot and tell him to eff you anyway. This will be a mistake for which you alone will pay."

"When you meet a man in a door way of a Mexican restaurant who later kisses you while explaining that this kiss doesn't 'mean anything' because, as much as he likes you, he is not interested in having a relationship with you or anyone right now, just laugh and kiss him back. Your daughter will have his sense of humor. Your son will have his eyes."

"The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people's diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming."

As I am a 20 something, I got to thinking about what types of "tiny beautiful things" I would want to remind the 30 or 40 something version of myself. Here's what I've come up with so far...

Sassarella, in terms of your career, if you're not doing something you love by now, then stop and fix it because it's never too late. Remember your 20 something motto, "work should rarely ever feel like work!"

Sassarella, every day, genuinely appreciate the loving and caring man in your life who treats you with respect and is a fabulous father. Dating is so exciting, thrilling, and a necessary part of finding out who you are but I would assume that there is nothing more fulfilling than having a family. And besides, there are some fo snerious creeps out there, "Well, I'm actually a wiccan, a male witch. So I have a magical name, it's Brother Phoenix East-Horse..." (Name that movie!)

Sassarella, make time for your girlfriends, even if the kids have the chicken pox and you worked 2938452 hours this week. The time you spent bonding and sharing experiences with the girls in your 20s are some of the best memories you will have for the rest of your life. Find the 30 or 40 something version of belting out Celine Dion in the car to the beach with Lauren and Gabs, people watching in the cafeteria with Allie and Mags, laughing about your ridiculous life choices anywhere, anytime with Meghan or Sammy, and taking SoCo & lime shots with T-Money and Hillhoro Babes.

Sassarella, even though you've got your own family unit, keep lovin' on the family unit that got you to this point. Don't be too busy for your parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc because really, you owe everything you have now, to them.

Sassarella, for the love of all things sassy, continue to have intense dance parties in your room...even if it's by yourself. This is extremely liberating and the most fun stress reliever in the whole wide world.

Sassarella, eat that greasy, cheesy pizza every now and then. Hey, you got away with it for years, drunk at 3am...it won't kill ya to indulge every now and then.

Sassarella, it's finally okay to change your relationship status on Facebook. You won't be breaking up with him.

Sassarella, give that eager 20 something intern a chance. Remember the wonderful people who gave you a shot and lead to the experiences that changed your life.

Sassarella, even though you've got responsibilities up the ying yang, National Martini Day should always be celebrated. It's sadly no longer appropriate to engage in "$2 Tuesdays", "Why Not Wednesdays", and "Thirsty Thursdays" all in the SAME week but have some fun!

Sassarella, say "yes" to completely random and unexpected opportunities. In your 20s, all you had to think about was yourself and even though your decisions now affect your husband and kids, doesn't mean you should stop living. Additionally, make time for that selfish part of yourself that needs to go for walk, blog, or get a manicure. It will keep you sane!

And finally, Sassarella, never ever forget your 20s. I'm only two years into them, but holy cannoli is this a kick ass time in life. The epic benders, perky boobs, smooth skin, hours of television without any real consequences, getting paid cash to serve beer, believing you are awesome, wearing sunglasses at night, never having the answers, and when worst comes to worst, still having mom, dad, and all 50000 of your roommates to turn to.

I have to give credit to Kelly K, a middle school friend of mine, who coincidentally posted this article about being a 20 something on Facebook today. It pretty much sums up how ridiculously awesome and awful this time of life is. Regardless of the awful crap, the good stuff is what I'll take with me to my 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s (fingers crossed).

To my 20 something peers, we rock. End of story. To anyone not yet in their 20s, get ready, kids! And finally, to anyone 30+ reading this and thinking I'm completely nuts....well, you're partly right, but ask yourself if you've done anything 20 something-ish lately. It won't kill ya! On the other hand, if you've done too many 20 something moves, lock it up, because from what I hear, it all just keeps getting better.

"Everything's Magic" by Angels & Airwaves

If you likey, check out "The War", "The Adventure", and "The Gift"
"The War" was my walk out song for softball. I know, pretty bad ass right?