I Wish...

So I'm packing up the last twenty-two years of my life and moving out! WOWEE is an understatement. Of course I've packed large amounts of stuff and moved to and from college but you never take everything. You only take the warm weather stuff and whatever you absolutely need until Christmas break comes around and you can switch everything out. Not this time. This time I'm taking it all! I came across a small purple pillow that I used to actually keep under my pillow in my bed. It has a little pocket with a small pendant that says "Wish" on it. I honestly think I got it at a sleep over birthday party in fifth grade, and if I'm remembering correctly it was Sarah Prendeville's birthday party. There were different colored pillows that she gave out and I think they each had different sayings, ya know like "Hope" or "Happiness" or what have you (and I apologize if it wasn't Sarah and whoever it was is offended that I don't remember but such is life).

I forgot about it for awhile but I found it when we moved to our new house right before entering middle school. I was having the usual girly troubles in middle school with cliques and boys and decided to write out what I wished for and put it in the pocket of this pillow. I slept on it every night. Ok so you think that's cheesy? It gets way worse! I continued to write new "I Wish..." lists every so often up until the summer before starting college. I came across this pillow today and read all of my previous "I Wish..." lists.

I always started with my family. I wished for their happiness and health. If there was something specific going on or if a specific family member was having a tough time, I would mention him or her by name but other than that it was a general statement. Then I would go into more specific details about my friends. I always mentioned Sammy and Gabbie: "Sammy and I will continue to be best friends forever and ever. We will stay close even though we live in separate towns now :-( and Gabbie and I will be BFFs until the end of time, I LOVE HERRRRR!" They usually went something like that. Then I would briefly mention a few other names aka whoever I was close with at the time, "Feeny, Kelly, Mooch, Heather, Jenna, Erica, Amanda, Lexie, & Gabs OH EM GEE THE SPECIAL 10 xOxO LyLaS FoREvER" And then as the years went by, Sammy and Gabbie remained and I added in Lauren, Jackie, and Brielle and then of course, my Scrubby aka Allie, "I wish that Allie and I will go to Georgetown together and have THE BEST time ever!"

Then I'd add something in about softball - usually something like "I wish I have a great batting average this year" or "I wish Furious Flo Po wins the championship game." What an over-achiever I once was.

So that is all expected and kind of boring but what shocked me as a 22 year old more experienced woman is that even as a 6th grader I was extremely level-headed. Anytime I mentioned a boyfriend or love interest in these little letters it was, "Blank and I will stay together until the time is right to break up" or "I wish that Blank would like me but only when I'm ready because I'm very busy with this new school and workload" etc etc. I mean it was crazy. You'd think as a 6th or even 8th grader with a boyfriend I'd wish to stay together forever, get married, have babies, and live happily ever after! No, instead mine said, "I wish I could figure out what to do about my relationship with Blank because I really like him but I guess when the time is right I'll know what to do." LIKE REALLY, CHRISTIE?! I don't know whether to be proud, sad or what but it was shocking. All I could think was how much of a Capricorn I am.

[Capricorn: practical and prudent, ambitious and disciplined, patient and careful, humorous and reserved, responsible and resourceful, loyal and hard-working]

Anyway, I decided to get rid of the old "I Wish..." lists but got to thinking about what my list would consist of now & of course I wanted to write a post about it.

I'll start the same way because it seems to make a lot of sense: I wish for my family to be happy and healthy. I wish for their success in life, love, and business. And I wish the same for my friends. I don't think I need to list them all out, I mean that's soooo 7th grade but I wish them the best of luck in this transitional time of life. I also wish to remind them to FEEL ALIVE!

And true to form, I wish for a loyal and honest man in my life....but only when the time is right. I know I b!tch and moan all the time about not having a steady guy around but at the end of the day I know it's because the universe has a plan. You may be confused considering a mentioned a "Doozy" in the previous post but like I said, when the time is right what's meant to be will be.

And with that being said, I wish the time was right. I wish I could stop wishing for that feeling I get when he (whoever he may be) puts his arms around me or calls my name but that I'd actually have that in real life. I wish I didn't have to deal with 35 year old men who act like 15 year old boys. [Side note / update: remember the mega gym crush aka Gym Crush Uno y Solo that I made a fool out of myself with that dumb "thank...you..." story - well, turns out he noticed me too! We met outside of the gym, talked for like the last 2 weeks, but when I realized I had another "Sexaholic J" situation on my hands, I told him off and now he hides from me at the gym. Sweet.] I wish I didn't have to tell these stories anymore.

I wish for success in business. I wish to find the job and the lifestyle that fulfills me. I wish to make something substantial out of this blog because I could write and write and write all day errrrryday!

I wish I could move my gym and most of the people in it to Washington with me. I want to pack Allison, my Zumba instructor, in my suitcase goddammit. I wish I could lose weight and tone up simply by breathing.

I wish I really knew who framed Roger Rabbit.

I wish lettuce and vegetables tasted WAY better than a chicken parm sub and a milkshake. I wish there weren't any calories in alcohol (LAM) and that hangovers did not exist.

I wish I could dance...like really dance. I'm talking like Jenny from the Block kinda dance or a Beyonce kind of ability to dance. Sure, I move decently well for a white chick from Jersey but I wanna be in a music video kinda dancer. Speaking of, I wish I could sing so I could collaborate with Pitbull or will.i.am.

I wish it was the way of the world that we actually wanted what we have not what we can't or don't have.

I wish Jen and Brad were still married, they were so cute together.

I wish for strength. I'm pretty sure that no matter how much fun I'm going to have in this next chapter, it's going to be difficult and overwhelming. It's going to be spontaneous yet rocky and unpredictable. I wish for the strength, the confidence, and the courage to power through.

I wish strapless shirts and dresses didn't make me look like a football player. I wish high heels didn't hurt a bit and I wish I could pull off that "I just rolled outta bed and look this hot" look.

I wish I lived in an era when this song was still popular...

Sassarella Says...sometimes I just wish I knew what to wish for. It's tough to even think about what I want when I really have no idea what I'm doing or where I'll end up. Well, I guess that's not entirely true but do you know what I mean? I have general ideas about what I want, ya know the basics: love, happiness, success, etc but not a lot of specifics just yet about what those really look like when I break em down. And finally I wish for you to tell me what you wish for so I can stop worrying about how I don't know what they will look like broken down and focus on someone else's life for a hot minute. Deuces.