Weekend Warrior: Double U Tee Eff, That's What She Said.

The levels of maturity, I'll say that humans, but I really 

mean the male species can function on at a given time is astonishing.

I started the weekend off at the Brightest Young Things party: a mosh pit of urban, artsy, sophisticated Washingtonians together at the sheek Newseum. It was quite the "Who's Who in DC" party, meanwhile, Meghan and I found ourselves taking goofy photo booth pictures, dancing on the Silent Disco rooftop, and collecting vitaminwater silly bandz. Amazing and talented photographers, artists, writers, DJs, politicians, and business professionals walked around the neon lights decorated Newseum with Christmas lights hanging from their necks, Smirnoff cocktails in hand, and sunglasses made of glow sticks...it was a sight to see. The one downfall: the LINES! There was a line to get in, a line for booze, a line for the elevators (which were fully equipped with a bartender and vodka), lines everywhere. Meh. Anyway, the night got progressively more immature. The Newseum to The Whale to Rhino. Typical.

Beerlympics score board.

Saturday night: Beerlympics at our house. This party defines college. Teams of 2 boys picking out of a hat to see what girl is on their team, country team names like "Isle of Man", "Wisconsin", and "Madagascar", and a keg. Complete with a "no beer left behind" policy, a robot dance party, an epic pitcher chugging performance by Dan, and hand made team shirts....overall, great success.

As I mentioned, I was very aware of the maturity levels, or lack of maturity, of those around me. Why do we all think we can somehow figure out why men and women behave the way they do? I start to figure it out and then everything gets flipped. Let's start with the BYT Party: I would say that I saw a friend of mine but OH WAIT that would've required him to act his age (30 years on this planet) instead of like a 6 year old. Maybe the glow sticks and blow up Santa Claus decorations got the best of him? A grown man...at The Newseum Party...with an education....and a successful career went out of his way to avoid a bright young thing (me) even after his friends said hello. Fool. (Then had the bawls to call the next night and play dumb via text the morning after that). I told him to go eff himself :-) [smiley face included]. Talking about the situation, I said something like: "Ya know, I expect this kind of crap from a guy I go to school with, not from a grown man."

Michael Scott (a grown man): 

"It squeaks when you bang it, that's what she said"

----> HOWEVER <---- At least this weekend, I owe my male peers an apology. Good God, you know things are screwed up when I'm actually publicly apologizing for under-estimating the maturity level of college-aged guys. (What's next?!) This brings me to Saturday night. Taking notice of the group of people playing chandelier flip cup in my kitchen, this should have been an extremely awkward evening. The hook-ups, the histories, and the previous love triangles taking place in one room combined with alcohol and intense competition could have led to disaster but it didn't at all. This night showed how far we've come. At one time we ducked behind the fro yo machine in the cafeteria to avoid the slightest uncomfortable interaction with certain people in my kitchen. We've grown up and we could all enjoy each other as great friends who have come to know each other over the course of four years.

In one specific situation at the party, college boy was honest and up front with college girl about his feelings and intentions. Obviously, due to the nature of the intentions, college boys still have a LOOOONNGGG way to go, but college girl could appreciate the fact that college boy told it like it was (rather than dodging and weaving around an adult Newseum party).

Why can't we just tell it like it is when it comes to relationships? I'm blunt and straightforward but even I play the games. I ask the opinion of 5 people before I respond to a text, I strategically wait a certain number of minutes before calling back, I say I'm busy when I'm not, and act like I don't care when I really do. After all of that, I've figured it out...none of us have figured anything out! No one has any idea wtf we're doing when it comes to the opposite sex.

Example A: In response to my explicit choice of words for the Newseum man boy, my mother said something like, "As satisfying as that might have been for you to say, don't you think showing that anger is showing that you care?" Crap. What did I do? But then, a male co-worker tells me, "Well, see, your mom is thinking like a woman. She's over-thinking it. From a man's perspective, I think you did the right thing." Point being, who the heck knows what the right thing to do is or the right way to handle a situation? Even the so-called "experts" such as Cosmopolitan magazine are clueless. Maggie and I spent a decent portion of the weekend expressing our frustration on the magazine's content.

Example B: "How a Hookup Can Turn Into Love" is the title of an article in this month's Cosmo. The article tells us that according to some study, 17% of couples began as a hookup - the author presents this as a promising figure (HA!). She then tell us that we shouldn't start things off with a bang, but that it might be easier because you technically don't care what he thinks of you yet, but that you should maybe possibly have a conversation about each others intentions, but then again maybe you shouldn't depending on the situation........like really? really? Wtf. Basically, she has no idea and neither does anybody else.

We can't help ourselves, we need to know, and we need to feel like we have some sense of what is going on. I'm throwing in the g.d. towel. I'm done trying to figure it out.................at least for today. I'm sure I'll try again (and fail) tomorrow but for the sake of my health and my sanity....just tell it like it is. If you like someone, tell them. If you don't, move on and let them go.

Final thoughts: Dudes, man up and chicks, put your big girl panties on and do whatever it is you need to do and do it honestly. (Let's see how many times I can write "do" in this post). The truth, a dash of maturity, and a sprinkle of class saves us all a lot of time and energy, don't ya think?